Awaiting Angel - Larry Stylinson

15. Anger

"Please, Harry. At least go for Louis." Anne has been begging for Harry to go and find a good therapist but he keeps refusing.

"No, mom, no. You don't understand! No one understands! So what a stupid therapist can do?" Harry snapped making Anne sigh. Anne knew for a fact convincing Harry to get help is gonna be hard and she was prepared to not to give up. No matter how many times Harry says no, she's gonna take him to a therapist one way or another.

She just wants him to live with inner peace, not waking up every night screaming, covered in sweat. She hates to see him like that. He's her son after all.

"Please, Harry. Are you sure you don't wanna do that for Louis? You love him a lot, Haz. I know that." Anne squeezed Harry's bicep as a gesture of comfort, but Harry was having none of it.

Louis came waddling into the room with two cups in his hands. One hand suddenly jerked out of nowhere, spilling the beverage in one of the cups he was holding. He pouted and stared at the spilled water as if it's gonna come back to the cup.

Harry stared at the boy with a fond smile. The frown he had on his face a second before is nowhere to be found.

"Aw, babe, it's fine. Let's fill it with more water. Yeah?" Harry asked as he took the cups from Louis' hands. Louis nodded enthusiastically and took Harry's extended hand in his. Harry lead the way to the kitchen and filled the cup with some water. He helped Louis onto one of the chairs in the kitchen and placed the two cups in front of him. He sat next to him and watched as Louis poured water from one cup to the other.

His mind wandered off to what Anne said as he patiently sat there. He thought about how she begged him to even do that for Louis. He looked at Louis and thought about how much he has hurt him and then he thought about Jay. It all lead him back to thinking about his blades again but he was quick to bring himself back to the situation in hand. He thought about how Louis would be left to live alone if he ever said goodbye and it made a shiver run down his spine.

The real reason he didn't want to see a therapist was he didn't want to depend on someone else for his own health. Blame him for that but he still believes he can take care of himself on his own and he's quite not ready to give it up yet. He didn't want to feel like he's depending on someone he doesn't even know and he definitely didn't want to tell all of his secrets to someone he doesn't know.

After all they are just being paid to listen to him rambling about how much of a burden he is to this world.

He still believes that no one would understand and he most definitely doesn't want to tell others how much of a coward he is. He felt like he'd lose his reputation he has put on after so much work and he wasn't up for that. He was a CEO after all and all those responsibilities made him think like he must be strong no matter what for the sake of his reputation and the sake of the company.

Oh, how wrong he was.

He stared at Louis for long and he thought about how much he loves Louis. He thought about how he was forced to stay away from Louis and how he has been the cause for lots of heartbreaks. He didn't want to ruin Louis' life again and he doesn't want Louis to go down than he already is.

He didn't want to see Louis having nightmares even though he, himself also has them. He didn't want to see Louis so scared of little things because he has been punished back in the care home for littlest things like asking someone else to put his zipper down for him. He didn't want to see any more scars on Louis' beautiful skin. He wants none of that.

All he wants to see is Louis being his happy, giggly self.

All those thoughts made Harry's guards fall down. He want to do this for Louis. He wants to live the life he wants with Louis. And he's gonna do this for Louis.