I Saved One Direction

Chapter 8

Sorry this chapter might not be that good... we will see by the end of it.

Chapter 8:

It has been weeks and i think I've started to come out of my shell a little bit. I mean i'm coming out of my room to eat and I told Liam we could go for the cheaper room with just 2 beds in one room. He has been bugging me a lot latly to tell him why im so depressed i just told him its family busness and its partly because im missing them. I didn't lie to him atleast. The problem is he knows its more than me missing my family. I wish i could tell them, but i just dont want any drama. 

Yesterday I found Liam praying on the side of his bed that i would be okay and that what ever is bothering me would be resolved. Litlle did he know the hole in my heart would never be filled. I still spent days in my room watching old family movies, looking at old scrap books, thinking. Liam would always ask me what i was thinking about and i didnt lie. I told him i was thinking about death. He would always go nuts when ever i wore a t-shirt and he saw my wrists and would think i was trying to kill myself but that isnt the case. Or not anymore it isnt. 

Liam hugged me for the first time in a long time and when he did i yelled at him to get off and i pushed him to the floor and ran to the bathroom breaking out in tears. I felt bad after, but he reminded me too much of Alexavier. His height was about the same, his voice was soothing like his, and his hugs felt the same. 

"Are you okay?" he said knocking on the door.

"Im fine go away!" I sneared.

I guess being a brat was the only way i could get people to leave me alone and allow me to cope with my frustration. I greived about Alexaviers death everyday until i couldnt take it anymore. Liam and the boys had left me to be alone for a while and went touring the city. I went touring my cloths and a suit case. I packed every little thing i had and knew that i was leaving. I had to write a note to the boys which was really hard. I was going to miss them soo much. I loved waking up to Liam's sweet voice, Harrys cheeky personality, Nialls jokes and kindness, zayns huge smile that covers half his face wheather he is sad or not, and Louis childish additude and energy. 

The note read:

Dear Niall Zayn Louis Liam And Harry,

I'm having a hard time away from my family and i can't cope any longer.

Im sorry im Leaving on such short notice, but i want you to know i love 

you all very much. You guys are the best friends a girl could ever have.

Thank you for all your kindness and all your tolerence. If you must desperitly

know why i left you may ask my boss. Believe me i would have told you,

but it was too hard to talk about. Have fun on the rest of your tour.

Liam tell your parents i say hello and all of you need to stay out of trouble.

     with love, 

                       Ella

I hated to say goodbye and i only told their boss because it was the only way i could quit and the boys would understand. I say that because i know they would ask to see if i told their boss or not. 

I carried my stuff to the car and and took one last breath of my dream. i realized that too much good can lead to a little bit of bad. Only in this case the bad part was twise as bad. when i was on the plane i look through all the pictures i took of the boys and realized by i loved liam. I may have said he acts like him a lot, but liam even looks like him. My brother was a good kid, and i guess i wanted to find someone like him that would treat me the same and i did. Only because of my brother i had to let it go. 

I cried and cried again thinking about how i didn't help my brother with his bullying problem. and how it had to resolve in death. 

"I wish he never took the drugs!" i said to myself out load in the airplane. 

"are you okay?" the flight attendant asked me.

"NO! My brother is dead because im to stupid to realize when he is being hurt!" I said barley even realized what i said to a person that i would be with for only another hour.

"I'm sorry?" the flight attendant said in a confused manner. 

****************

Weeks later.

I hadn't gotten a text message or phone call from any of the boys and i guess they felt hurt. I don't know why they would though because I told them that it was because of my brother and not them. As weeks went by i started to come out a little bit more. I still cried a lot and wished the world would end at times, but I knew that god had a reason for this to happen. I didn''t know what the reason was, but he better have a good one. I talked to my best friend Sophia a lot since i was home. She was very supportive of what i was going threw. She said that i had been waiting too long to talk to the boys and that i needed to talk to atleast one of them so they knew that i was doing okay.

"I dont want to" i said.

"You have to!" she said staring at me

"Common?" i said with puppy dog eyes.

"DO IT!" she screamed. 

It scared me so i texted liam.

Hi Liam, its me Ella and im sorry i left with only a note. I was just too upset to have a boyfriend and to work for the one who's heart i broke while breaking mine at the same time. I just wanted to tell you that im fine and to tell you to have a good rest of the tour.

                 Love: Ella

I waited a couple minutes and then I imedietly got a message back. I guessed it would be Liam and i was right.

     Hey babe. I've been so worried about you. And it's okay. I've moved on annyways, i mean I'm sure that you have too because you left so im okay. And what do you mean breaking yours at the same time?

   Signed: Liam <3