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— December 25th —

look at that flow

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look at that flow.

I couldn't read Nolan's expression as I stared at him, waiting for him to say something. He didn't, in fact. He just turned around to grab a few pancakes that were ready.

"That's great, Lila," Steve said with a smile and nodded at James. I forced a smile and looked over at Travis who looked practically the same as Nolan.

After some "uplifting" words from everyone - besides Nolan and Travis - we all began to eat. Nolan sat down across from me and ate silently, not looking up once. Carrie and mom were starting to get agitated with both of their sons.

"Travis, a word?" Mom asked and Travis looked up. He rose from his seat and followed mom into the guest room she and dad were staying in.

"Nol, you too." Carrie said. Nolan met eyes with me for a few seconds before standing up and following his mom. They disappeared seconds later leaving me with Steve, James, Aimee and Maddie.

"I think it's great, Lils. Nolan will be upset for a little while but he'll pull through," Maddie said and I nodded.

"I hope," I mumbled.

After a couple minutes Mom came back out with Travis and following them was Nolan and Carrie. Breakfast resumed after that. Once everyone was finished Aimee, Maddie and I cleared the table and washed the dishes as Mom and Carrie went to a room to talk and the boys went into the living room. We would be opening up presents in a little while.

"Listen, Lila," Aimee said quietly. I turned to face her. "It's going to be okay. You're a tough subject for Nol – not in a bad way of course, but he gets upset when something happens to you. I think he's more upset at the fact that you can get injured again rather than you leaving." She spoke quietly since the boys were only twenty feet away. I sighed and hugged her, Maddie coming in for the hug as well.

"We love you," Aimee said and I held on tighter, and not because I didn't have my crutches to support me. Eventually we released from the hug and I sighed.

"Can you guys send Nol up to his room? I wanna talk to him in private for a bit," I said and they both nodded. I crutched my way to the stairs and made my way upstairs and into Nolan's room.

I waited a few minutes and looked around. I spotted a picture of the two of us. It was one of the first pictures we had taken when we were officially together.

The door opened and I turned to see Nolan. He walked over and sat down on his bed. He motioned for me to go over and I did, sitting next to him.

"I had to put myself first for once. I'm always basing my decisions on other's needs. I've been wanting to join a team for a while and there weren't any in Philly I liked," I said and he sighed.

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