Kabanata 46
Courage
Malalim ang kanyang paghinga habang hinihintay ang sagot ko, pilit niyang hinahanap ang aking mata at pilit din akong nag-iiwas ng tingin.
I literally don't know what to say especially in this situation. Why did I leave him? Because your mother told me to do so, your own mother who crave for your attetion so much and want the best for you.
"I was so angry at you." nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya.
Tumango ako, naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit siya nagalit sa akin. To be honest, inaasahan kong kakalimutan na lang niya ang tungkol sa amin at sundin ang gusto ng pamilya para sakanya.
Kahit sino naman magagalit kapag iniwan ng walang paalam, hindi ba? Kaya hindi ko siya masisisi kung lubusan ang pagkamuhi niya sa akin pero hindi ko inaasahan ang Johansson na nasa harap ko ngayon.
People describe him as an independent, fearless and strong gentleman, a complete opposite on what I am seeing right now.
"You are the only person who can brighten my day instantly just by your mere presence." unti-unti niyang hinawakan ang kamay kong nasa aking kandungan
"The only person who can touch me anywhere." kinagat ko ang labi ko. This is too much, this feeling is too much for me. I love him so much that I am willing to embrace him one more time despite of the happenings
"Johansson... I..."
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Umangat ang mata ko sakanya, nagulat sa tanong niya. Nakatingin lang ito sa aking mata pero bumaba sa aking labi nang nagtagal ang titig ko. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at umilingia
"Husband?" May pait sa tono niya
Umiling ako at nilingon ang kaibigan, I need some distraction from him because my heart is beating so fast like I joined a marathon
"Damn..." Bulong niya "I will wait for you."
Naramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa aking bewang at hinila ako palapit sakaniya. Muli niyang ibinalik ang pagkakahawak ng aming kamay pero mas mahigpig kaysa kanina
"You don't have to, magiging komplikado ang lahat."
"Like?" Kumunot ang noo niya at inilapit ang mukha sa akin
Your lifestyle, the rumors about your fiancee, your company and... Lauren!
Parang ngayon lang sumagi sa isip ko ang aking anak.
Baka kamuhian na niya ako ngayon kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol kay Lauren. I was naive, afraid and young. I don't know what to do at that age, ang alam ko lang ay kailangan walang makaalam sa ama ng anak ko dahil maaaring may asawa na ito.
And now here I am, the father of my child, confessing his feelings yet I am still afraid. Afraid for him, for Lauren, for me, for us...
"Everything changed in the past years, you have your company under you, fiancee-"
"I am not engaged." I twitched at nakita niya iyon. He groaned and pulled me closer to him. Sobrang lapit namin na nararamdaman ko ang init ng hininga niya sa aking pisngi.
"I miss you." bulong niya at mabagal na nilapit ang mukha sa aking leeg, like he's testing me if I will avoid physical contact.
Pumikit ako at dinama ang labi niya doon. Kahit ngayon lang, pagbibigyan ko ang sarili ko. Miss na miss ko na siya.
His kisses went down to my jaw and I automatically gave access to him. He groaned and tighten his grip on my waist before proceeding on his hungry kisses. His other hand is on my cheek and his thumb is slightly carressing my lips. Umawang ang bibig ko sa ginawa niya.
