More Than Just A Silly School Girl Crush

Recovering

Waking up the next day to know the bad moment yesterday was not a dream it is the worst. Suzie isn't my friend anymore I still can't get over that we are so close what could have happened? I believe Michelle bribed her or did something because Suzie would never so that to me.

Mom is downstairs she finally got a break after those all niter's but this time mom was sleeping on the couch any time she can sleep she sleeps. She's not lazy she is getting to old for all of this she has to raise a daughter, work for the food and live her days alone knowing she won't ever see my father again. Skylar and dad died in a car accident I was in the car too I was in the back so all I had were a few bruises. The accident was so quick I didn't even get to say goodbye. I ended up outside of the car on the ground ontop of the glass that shattered from the car. We were on our way home after buying moms birthday gift.

Mom always wanted a ring with dads name engraved on it so that's what he did and he was going to renew their vows but then he died. My father's name was Justin Marcelo he was a freelance photographer but he mostly did kid pictures. He loved putting a smile on kids faces he was truly a kind man he was also part of the choir in our church.

Skylar was the most adventurous little girl you could find she loved bunnies and she was always so hyper. She never was tired if she was you knew she was sick Skylar was always good at singing too she always said she wanted to be part of dads choir one day. Mom and me are alone now just us I walk into the living room and pat her head.

"I miss you." Mom mumbles.

I know you do mom I know you do maybe I need to stop acting like some normal kid I changed after they died I used to be full of life and no cares in the world. I always dreamed of marrying a prince I would dress up in my own way not caring what anyone thought. Now I'm dead inside and I sleep with any man that comes and I always care what people think. I wonder what dad and Skylar think of me now. I am a disappointment as a big sister and a daughter.

"Mom I miss them too."I run upstairs.

Whens the last time I thought about them deeply? Whens the last time I actually cared about someone or anything today I'm going to start over I am not going to give up I'm fighting this battle until I am going to win that means I won't give up on love I'll find it even if it calls me even if it takes me away even if it knocks on my door. I will make this attempt.

Later that day Charles and Jesse were at my door waiting for me I got dressed and left out the door. Went into Jesse's car and drove away with them today I'll start with the two people I trust more in life the two who care about me. My gay best friend and... what is Jesse to me? My friend? My teacher? What is he?

"Today we're taking you away from your normal life your going to have fun whether you like it or not." Jesse smiles as me.

That's it, how could I have not realised he is the man I love that sounds right I love him. Jesse isn't anything more than the man that I love. I smile back to him and look up at the coulds and whisper thank you. Skylar and dad are watching me with the god right now smiling and giving their blessings.

"Hey I notice something about you Noel you I see something that wasn't there like a light." Charles looks at me.

"Lets say I always had this light with me just hidden." I laugh.

Jesse looks at me at the stop light and pats my head.