sunshine • jihope

11.

"Jimin?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me how we know each other yet?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes. I need to know why me not knowing you hurts you so much."

Jimin gulped. "Okay. I was your boyfriend. We'd been together for four months when the accident happened," Jimin explained, sitting on the couch facing his (kind of) boyfriend. Hoseok beamed and Jimin's heart fluttered. "Really? No way!"

Jimin nodded. "Yeah. We were great."

Hoseok tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry I don't remember. I am trying."

"I know. It's just hard knowing you don't remember us. But it's not your fault."

"I know you blame yourself, too. You talk in your sleep. But it's not your fault, not unless you're goal was to break your own wrist in a car accident, in which case, you're a psycho and I should run," Hoseok joked. Jimin laughed loudly.

"You have a beautiful laugh."

"Thanks," Jimin smiled, even though Hoseok said that everytime Jimin laughed. He repeated himself a lot, but Jimin didn't mind; at least Hoseok chose to spend time with Jimin.

"How did you love me?" Hoseok asked, ending their momentary silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, why?"

"Well I first met you because we matched."

Hoseok's eyes went wide. "Really!?"

Jimin nodded. "And we spent more time together. I got to know your habits amd your flaws and your little ticks and I fell in love with it all. The masterpiece that is Jung Hoseok."

"Was," Hoseok corrected, a sad smile on his lips, but Jimin shook his head. "I'm still in love with you, even if you can't love me back. Nothing could change that, not even if the world stopped spinning."

Hoseok sighed. "Did you do that a lot? Be all cute and poetic and shit?"

Jimin nodded. "We both did. You were better at it, but we did. It was our thing."

"We must've been the most annoying couple ever," Hoseok laughed. The sound was music to Jimin's ears as he nodded, giggling softly.

"We weren't as bad as Tae and Jungkook though. We kept our PDA to a minimum."

"That's the really strong looking guy and the one that should be a model?" asked Hoseok. Jimin nodded. "That's them. As you may have noticed, they have a small PDA problem. You weren't the biggest fan, most days, but others you would cling to me as if your life depended on it," the younger said, reflecting on their relationship. 

He noticed Hoseok's smile tilt downwards into a scowl as he rubbed his neck. "Headache?"

Hoseok nodded, moving his fingers from his neck to his temples. "The doctor said I should get used to them. She said they might never go away, not even once I get my memories back, if I ever do," Hoseok mumbled bitterly, closing his eyes. 

"I'll go get you an aspirin, okay?" Jimin stood up and made his way to the kitchen, where Hoseok's assortment of pills were. He scavenged through the bin until he came across an orange prescription bottle with Hoseok's name on it. He raised an eyebrow and grabbed it, along with the aspirin. "Hobi, what are these for?" He asked, re-entering the room.

Hoseok eyed the bottle cautiously. "Zoloft? Doc gave them to me for my PTSD after the accident, but it also helps with some other things too." Hoseok took the aspirin and swallowed it with some water. Jimin nodded, guilt building up inside him like a weed. Hoseok had to suffer the consequences of Jimin's mistakes, and it wasn't fair. He took the bottle back to the kitchen then flopped back on the couch.

"You were in the accident too, right Jimin?" Hoseok asked out of the blue. Jimin nodded awkwardly. "Yep. I-I was driving, actually."

Hoseok froze, eyes on the ground. Jimin could practically see the gears in Hoseok's brain spinning, trying to wrap his head around the new information. Jimin's palms sweated nervously, afraid of how Hoseok might react. He wiped them on his jeans and scratched the back of his head. "Do. . . do you want me to go?" He asked quietly. Hoseok shook his head.

"I'm not mad at you, Jimin. I know you think that I am, you aren't the best at acting normal when you're scared. It's not your fault, I shouldn't have distracted you."

Jimin shook his head and was about to open his mouth when he realized what Hoseok just said. "Wait, you remember?"

Hoseok nodded. "It's a little fuzzy, but it's coming back. I remember you were looking at me because I was distracting you. And I remember we had just been at a party, your friends birthday party."

Jimin smiled and scooted closer, crossing his legs. "Jin's birthday. Do you remember anything else?"

"Not really, but I know how I feel about you. I know that I love you more than life itself, and I know that you make me happy. My feelings towards people have sorta been coming back, you especially. It's difficult, actually. Not loving you."

Jimin's cheeks warmed at Hoseok's words and he cracked a smile.

"You're smile gives me butterflies. It's weird. Whenever you smile I never want to say anything because I get scared you'll stop," Hoseok said, turning and mimicking Jimin's positions. Now the two were facing each other and Jimin couldn't hide anything. Hoseok's bright eyes peered into his and Jimin melted.

"Jimin?" Hoseok asked, after a minute of complete silence, moving a little closer. Jimin nodded, his eyes flickering from Hoseok's eyes to his lips rapidly.

"I'd really like to kiss you, right now."

Jimin beamed. "Then do it," he said with a small laugh. Hoseok wrapped his arm around Jimin's waist and pulled him close, gently touching their lips together. The younger entangled his fingers in Hoseok's brown hair, holding him like he was afraid to let go. Jimin got on his knees so that he was taller than Hoseok and smiled against his lips, taking a breath before rejoining.

It felt as magical as their first kiss, and in some ways, it was. Hoseok couldn't remember their first kiss, or even what Jimin's lips felt like, and Jimin hadn't kissed Hoseok in almost two weeks. It felt new and exciting but Hoseok's touch was still so familiar. He pulled away and looked into Hoseok's happy eyes, pulling the elder into a tight hug. 

With his soulmates arms around his waist, he felt safe, and like their pieces were coming back together. He took a deep breath, content to have the real Hoseok in his embrace, not just his hoodie.

*****

i have a mild distaste for this chapter too but i'm a sucker for jihope fluff