Gazzy and I have been dating for a few months now, and we've been through some crazy shit. From shootings, touring, getting roofied, crazy groupies-
Just trust me.
But we love eachother, despite everything. I love his goofy ass. And I can't wait to...
Gazzy and I spent the rest of the day Saturday laying around the house. Everyone finally left eventually. I love his team or squad or crew or whatever the fuck you wanna call them, they've become my closest friends, but damn sometimes I wish he was alone more often.
We were cuddled up watching netflix on his blue couch. I thought it would be a good time to ask him what was up with him. He still seemed distant and not so... Gazzy. I don't know how to explain it. I hadn't heard a single "Esketit" in almost 24 hours.
"Babe?" I said
"Yeah?"
"Whats wrong? And don't lie to me. I know somethings up..."
My head was on his chest, I felt him take a deep breath.
"I don't know..." His voice trailed off
"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, I didn't want to pry but... I mean he's my man and I don't want him to be sad.
"I don't know," He repeated "I'm just feelin some type of way. I been thinkin alot..."
"About?"
"Everything..."
He looked down, fiddling with his hands
"Is it me...?"
"What? No." He snapped "I don't wanna talk about this shit right now. Can you leave it the fuck alone?"
Uhh... who the fuck does he think he's talking to?
"What the fuck is your problem? I was just gonna see what I could do to make you feel better. You don't have to be fucking rude."
I got up and started heading for the stairs. He got up behind me.
"Elle, wait." He said
I didn't respond. Everything we've fucking been through and he still doesn't trust me enough to open up to me or share how he feels at all? And he's gonna be a dick about it? Fuck that.
"Baby!"
I still said nothing, just continuing my path to the stairs. Its just taking a long time. Fuck this big ass house.
I got halfway up the stairs and Gazzy was still following me.
"STOP!"
Gazzy's Point of View
The look on her face when she finally turned around...
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it broke my fuckin heart. She looked so disappointed. I love this girl. The way her sandy curls frame her fuckin face, her eyes, the way she walks, talks, thinks...
"I'm sorry..." I said " I'm sorry."
She slowly sat down on the stairs
"I'm just... I think I'm..."
"What is it?" She asked
"I've just been thinkin too much. About everything.. I feel like I should be happy but... I'm not."
I walked up and sat next to her on the stairs. I took my her hand in mine.
"I'm sorry bebita. Forreal. Its hard for me to... open up I guess." I said "..Have you ever felt like this?"
"All the time."
Elle's Point of View
He furrowed his bushy brows
"...Really?" He asked
I nodded
"You're probably depressed, Gaz."
"Depressed?" He scoffed "Lil Pump don't get depressed."
"Okay, well then what the hell is wrong with you?"
He was silent.
"Thats what I thought." I said "Maybe you should see someone..."
He made a face.
"I don't know about all that..."
"Well, maybe you don't, but I do. It might help. And another thing-"
I held my free hand out
"What?" He asked, confused
"Give me the pills, Gazzy."
He laughed nervously
"What? Whatchu talkin bout?"
"Stop playing dumb. I'm not stupid. Give me the pills."
He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out the bottle. He placed it in my hand.
"I know you can get these anywhere, and money isn't an issue for you, but I don't want you popping these around me anymore. You don't know what this shit could be cut with. If you have a problem you need to-"
"I know, iite?"
He ran his hands through his dreads and took a deep breath. He paused for a while.
"A lil while before I met you, I lost someone..." He said, hesitantly. I could tell he was uncomfortable "A friend. Peep."
"Lil Peep? You guys were friends?"
He nodded
"Yeah..."
"I'm so sorry..."
"It just happened so sudden, you know? One week we was chillin... next week he was gone."
I was kind of shocked that he was actually talking to me about any of this. He's trying... I also didn't realize that they were friends. My heart sank.
"Gazzy..."
I rested my head on his shoulder
"Shit just hit me harder than I expected it to."
"I know what that feels like. I've lost a friend too... Its hard. But you have to remember the good times."
He nodded
"And I know you're probably depressed and its probably partially my fault-"
"Don't say that shit... If anything, you been keepin me happy. We been through alot, but you still here. You stayed. You ain't give up on us."
" 'Cause I love you, you fuckin noodle head."
He laughed
"Mean ass... Thank you for talkin to me. And for taking those away. I love you too... Now..."
He gave me that mischievous look. He's about to do some shit
"Babe-"
He picked me up.
"HEY!!"
"ESKEETTTIIITTT!!!" He yelled while carrying me up the stairs
...🙄
I was still scared for him. I really think he should see someone. I know he's expected to be happy and have that Lil Pump attitude about everything, its probably overwhelming...
