The One • Book 2 • Lil Pump

Jahseh

Elle's Point of View

All I've been doing since that day is taking pills, drinking, laying here. I've barely moved.

My phone has gone off hundreds of times. Some of my calls were from my ex, but most of my calls and all of my texts were from Gazzy. All gone unanswered. I knew I had to leave. I had to get out of his house, but no matter how hard I tried, I could barely move. My whole body felt weak. Anytime I felt myself beginning to sober up, I drank or took something.

All I could think about was him and how fucking stupid I feel for missing him, for wanting to pick up when he calls...

I dragged myself to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I broke completely.

Who am I kidding?

I bawled as I looked at myself. Did I really think I could compare to all those other girls? Had I just been fooling myself?

I slipped the gold bracelet he gave me off of my wrist and threw it in the sink before falling backwards into the wall.

How many days has it been? How much time has even gone by? The suns come up 3 times.. I think... it must've been 3 days ago.

"...Hello? Elle?"

I heard a deep voice coming from the room, then footsteps coming towards the bathroom.

"X...?"

I jumped up and hugged him, sobbing into his chest.

"Aye.. Whats goin on? I came to check on you.."

I backed away from him suddenly

"Did he send you?" I asked suspiciously

He shook his head

"Nah. I tried to call you the other day to see if you were okay but you didn't pick up..."

"I wanna die, X." I choked

"Don't say that shit. You're gonna be okay."

He held me.

"W-Why would he do this?" I whimpered

"I don't know.." He replied "I'm not making excuses, but I'd be a liar if I said I never fucked up a good thing... You need water?"

I nodded

"Wait here, I'll be right back."

Why did X come here? Was he really just worried? He came back a few moments later with a glass of water. I drank it hungrily.

"Well..." X joined me on the floor "What do you wanna do?"

"I don't know. I need to get the fuck out of here... but I can't."

"Why not?"

"... Have you ever loved someone that you knew wasn't good for you?"

I realized halfway through that it was a stupid question to ask him, of all people.

"Have you heard my music?" He asked jokingly "Of course.. its the story of my life. You can't trust or believe them, but you become addicted to the pain, addicted to them. You start to wonder if its actually the other person who's crazy.. or if its you."

Damn.

"Do you believe in second chances?"

"No."

"Well then you have your answer."

"Its not that simple, Jahseh," I sobbed "And you know it."

He nodded

"I know.. what have you been doing for the past week?"

...Week?

"Its been a week?" I asked in disbelief

"Since that happened? Yeah."

Fuck... I missed 4 days?

"...Can you get my phone? Its on the bed."

He got up and came back with my phone.
I had 117 missed calls from Gazzy. 52 texts.
12 missed calls from work
another 12 from people in my classes
and 6 missed calls from Purp.

He was the only person I was gonna call back.

"Yo..hello?" Purp said, his voice hushed "Hold on."

He was probably with Gazzy now, and had to leave wherever he was.

"Elle?"

"...Hey Purp."

"Fuck. You're okay.. I was startin to get worried. How you holdin up?"

"I'm not."

"Neither is he." He said

"I don't give a shit. Look, I need to find a place to stay that isn't here-"

"Elle, c'mon you're not even gonna give the nigga a chance?"

"A chance to do what?! Fuck m-me over again?" My voice broke

"Look... He loves you. He fucked up, the least you could do is talk to him."

"Maybe so, but I'll do that shit when I'm ready."

"...Iite. Well I'm glad you're okay... He really does love you."

"Thanks Purp. I'll talk to you soon.."

"Bet. Later."

He hung up.

I checked my texts.

I started crying uncontrollably again.

"I can't take this shit.." I whispered

X scooted closer to me and held me once more.

"You're gonna be okay, Elle. You're strong. You'll figure this out. Whatever decision you make... you got people that care about you."

"..Thank you." I sniffed "Do you think he even cares?"

He nodded

"Of course. You know the number one thing everyone's been sayin since you guys got together?" He asked "We never seen him like this before."

"I don't know if I can forgive him..."

"And that's okay too." He said "Even if you do, and it takes time, take as much as you need."

X was really good at this comforting thing. He was also the first human contact I'd had in apparently a week. He helped me get up, and he brought me food. I couldn't bring myself to eat it but its the thought that counts.

I have 2 weeks to make a decision. Thats when Gazzy comes back.

What am I gonna do?

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