savior

thirteen

DAY TWELVE;  NINETEEN DAYS TO GO

ASHTON'S POINT OF VIEW

Someone called my name. At first, I thought I was imagining things because I could've sworn it sounded like Regan's voice. But that couldn't be true. She was at school, sitting in first period with Michael. She was probably wondering where I was, since I told her I would see her there. I actually felt a little bad that I didn't tell her where I was going, but I don't think she would've understood. No one ever understands. 

I continued to walk behind the doctors, who were rushing into another room. The voice said my name again. I whipped my head around, only to bump into Regan, who was standing awkwardly close to me. My face felt hot. I backed away. 

"Ashton, what are you doing here?" she asked me. Her face was etched with worry. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She began to look up and down my body, messing with my clothes to find some type of injury. I tried pushing her arms off of me, but she wouldn't stop. 

"Armel," I said, hoping that would catch her attention. I liked her first name, but bugging the shit out of her was so fun. She had gotten so annoyed with me when I called her by her last name the first time, and since then, that's all I've wanted to call her. "Armel," I said again, and she looked me in the eye. 

She let go off my clothing. "Sorry. I was just making sure you're okay. Glad to know you've got no cuts or bruises," she said, looking down at my arm, which was uncovered. My scars were visible. When she noticed that they weren't fresh, she let out a sigh of relief. "So, what are you doing here?" I quickly pulled my shirt sleeve down.

Her sister—I think her name was Kate, or something—invited me to sit down on one of the chairs. I kept my eyes on the room that the doctors had fled to. My nerves were going crazy. "Uh, I'm visiting someone."

"Oh."

"What about you?" I asked. I couldn't keep my eyes off the door. I needed to go back, but I didn't want to be rude. There was a lot more questions I had to ask the doctors; I needed answers. There was no way I was going to leave without knowing what was going on. 

"I'm here for my mom. She, uh—she's at the ultrasound," she explained, her face paling a little. She started to pick at her nails. Her sister rubbed on her forearm. "Yeah, we've been here all morning. It's kind of been boring here."

Regan must have been nervous to find out what gender her new sibling will be. If my mom could have another baby, I would've been super excited to know. I could play football with a little brother, or possibly have a small tea party with a younger sister, just like I had with Lauren. I was happy for her. At least things were going well with her.

"What do you want the gender to be?" I asked. A small smile spread on my face at the thought of Regan being happy. We had really only been friends for, like, a week and a half, but she was a good person, and she deserved the best. She's really the only person other than Michael that was willing to be my friend. Her friend Anna was hot, too.

Regan let out a whimper. Suddenly she began to cry and I had no idea what to do. Did I say something wrong? Maybe she was upset that she was going to have another sibling. She didn't seem very friendly with the other one. "Uh, look, Regan, I have to go now," I said sort of fast. The quicker I got away from a crying girl, the better. "I'll see you later." 

I ran. 

How awkward was that? I've never actually made a girl cry before. Well, I mean, I've made Lauren cry dozens of times because I wouldn't play with her as kids, but not a real girl. What did I say wrong? I shrugged it off and kept walking. Maybe I'll apologize later.

Seconds later I found myself stepping into the room that the doctors had all come to. Something about the atmosphere made me a little worried to come furthur in. One of the doctors—Joe, a friend of my dad—stopped me in the doorway. "Little Irwin, I'm afraid you're going to have to step back into the waiting room. We need to take your mother in for surgery."

"What?"

"Sorry, man. The cancer has grown back since the last time. It doesn't look too good," he said, like it was okay to be so calm about this. The fuck it wasn't! He has to let me see her!

Years ago, after Harry was born, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Now, I don't know all the details—I haven't really paid any attention to that because I was too worried about her—but she didn't look too good. For the past week, she had been staying in the hospital. I couldn't tell Regan I'd been here with her. She'd pity me til the end of time. I'd feel like the such a loser, more than I do now.

"That can't be true! You have to let me in!" I shouted, tears staining my cheeks. She was all I had left, other than Lauren and Harry. What's going to happen to us if she's gone? My dad surely wasn't around anymore.

I began to stomp in, but I didn't make it in too far before Joe pulled me back. "Yo, Little Irwin, this is a private room! Go sit down and we'll give you details when the surgery is over!"

Then he pushed me. I was fuming, but I didn't say anything. When I stepped out into the waiting room again, Regan and her little sister were still there. Thankfully they weren't paying attention. I turned on my heel, and headed towards another room. There sat a man with shaggy black hair, sunglasses, dark clothing, and large, sharp rings. I wiped the tears away from my eyes, in order to look somewhat manly sitting next to him.

"Here for your mom, kid?" he asked, in a raspy voice. I looked up at him.

"Yeah, how'd you know that?"

He started to chuckle. His laugh sounded terrible, evil almost. I scooted further away from him, skipping a few chairs. I wonder if he noticed how scared he made me. Probably. It wasn't that hard to see that the color of my face went from white to whiter.

The man stood up. Then he walked towards me.

"I know everything, Ashton Irwin."