savior

thirty four

DAY TWENTY FIVE; SIX DAYS TO GO

ASHTON'S POINT OF VIEW

I should have kissed her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted so desperately to finally tell her how I felt about her, but I had never been so close with a girl before, and I had no idea what I was doing. It surprised me that I played her hands and held her close to me as much as I did. That wasn't a natural thing for me.

It only took me a few days to realize it, but I really liked Regan Armel. Even if there was some way that she wasn't the only real girl in my life, there was no doubt that I'd be attracted to her. She was amazing, inside and out. She said a lot of witty things, and liked to smile and make me smile, and she had no difficulty doing so. Whenever I was around her, I just got happier.

Of course I wasn't going to tell her all of this. She would probably be creeped out knowing that I had a crush on her, if a crush was what it was. I knew that I probably wouldn't be the best boyfriend in the world, but there was so much going on in my life, and I couldn't help the way I acted sometimes.

And that made me wonder what ran through Regan's mind when she said what she said to me. We promised each other we wouldn't say anything about it, but I couldn't help but think about it from time to time. I mean, it was rude as hell, especially considering the circumstances, but I sort of understood her, because no one wants to talk about negative things. Maybe it was my fault. I did mention being depressed.

I just wanted to tell her what she did to me, how great she made me feel, but she ignored me, and then ended up being rude to me, for no reason. So I left. And when she called, I was still angry, because she finally decided I was good enough. It made me feel terrible. So I showed how mad she made me.

She did mention going to see her dad, and all, but I mean, she'd just leave me out of the blue. She didn't even tell me what she was doing when I asked. It scared me, because I cared about her, and she was just going to go somewhere else. Where did her dad even live? Was she still going to go, wherever it was?

It was almost seven in the morning when I woke up. My thoughts had consumed me all night, and I hardly had any sleep. Regan looked so peaceful sleeping next to me. I wanted to make this a regular thing but I didn't know how. Sometimes I wish my dad was still around, to teach me things about getting girls, or at least not acting like a loser in front of them. I wasn't cut out for making people like me.

"Armel. Rise and shine," I said, lifting one of her arms by the wrist, and shaking it up and down and around like it was a noodle. Her eyes popped open, and a smile grew on her face. I felt my cheeks heating up. "Come on. Let's go get breakfast, and then I'll run up to your apartment with you so you can get ready for school."

She threw the covers off of her, and stood up next to the bed. Together, we walked out into the hallway and headed towards the kitchen. We stopped in the middle of the it when I heard voices and giggling in the kitchen. I put a finger over my lips, directing my friend not to talk.

"Oh, shut up, Tristan. You're cuter!" I heard my little sister's voice say to someone who was definitely not known. I peeked my head around the corner, and standing in the kitchen with their arms wrapped around each other was Lauren and someone that I guessed was her boyfriend.

I took Regan's hand and pulled her into the room with them, calmly, to make it seem like I had no idea they were there, or like I didn't care. If Lauren had a boyfriend, I wasn't going to ruin it for her. But I couldn't help but be a little mad. She had invited him over without my permission.

"Oh, uh, hey Ashton, this is my boyfriend, Tristan," Lauren said. She smiled up at him. I gave an awkward wave. Regan just stood there, not really sure of what to do.