savior

fifteen

DAY THIRTEEN;  EIGHTEEN DAYS TO GO

Anna, Calum, Michael, and I all sat around the lunch table together, waiting for Ashton to join us. I hadn't seen him since first period, when he was all shaky and nervous. He didn't say a word to me. The four of us made conversation, but none of it really interested me. I mean, what if Ashton decided that today was the day? That's what I was a worried about.

He could've been anywhere in the school; a teacher's classroom, the bathroom, anywhere, and I knew that. But him hurting himself was still an option, because he had been doing it for a long time, and there was no telling what he was thinking.

My thoughts were all jumbled up. They didn't even make sense to me. So much was going on at the moment. My mom had a miscarriage, my ex-boyfriend started talking to me again, and I was to save one of my friend's lives before the end of the month. I had no idea what was going on in my brain.

Suddenly, the other three of my friends stood up. There was still a lot of tension between them. That's why they didn't sit next to each other. It was just Calum and Michael that hated each other, or at least just Michael who hated Calum. Calum tried to make conversation with Michael, but he'd just scoff and try to talk to Ashton and I. I didn't have a clue why that was.

"Well, if he's not coming, we're not going to wait for him," Michael said, standing on other side of me than he originally was.  "I'm starving, and the pizza line is almost out of food."

Calum and Anna stood hand in hand. "Are you coming?" my best friend asked me. I just shrugged. They walked away, giggling with each other as they got farther away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the blonde hair. I mentally groaned. Here comes Luke again. When he sat in front of me, I wiped the scowl off my face and replaced it with a less aggravated smile. "Hi," he said, in the same small voice he had used this morning.

"Hi," I repeated. Great, I was going to be stuck here with Luke, the king of awkward conversations, while everyone else got up to get food. Why didn't I go myself?

"Okay, so, I know we broke up a few months ago," he started, looking me in the eyes. I looked down at the table. Anna was right. "But I was wondering if you wanted to—"

"Who's this?" a familiar voice said. Luke and I looked up, facing Ashton, who had finally decided to show up. In his hand was a cute, little stuffed bear with a very happy face. On its stomach were the words: I'm sorry.

Luke looked at me, his smile fading. Whatever he was going to ask me suddenly flew out the window. He let out a small cough. He returned his attention back to Ashton, who was now working his way over to the seat next to me. "Oh," he whispered. "Obviously, you've already moved on. I guess I'll leave you two alone, then."

With that, Luke stood up and disappeared into the crowd if people throwing their trash away. I turned my body over, so I was facing Ashton. 

"Where have you been?" I asked, resting my head on my fist, using my arm on the table to hold me up. "If it wasn't for you, I could be up there getting food by now."

"I didn't ask you to wait for me. But I'm glad you did. I'd rather give this to you alone. Your best friend is rather loud when she sees us together," he said, sheepishly. He handed me the small bear. "Michael would probably accuse me of having a crush on you or something."

I peeked down at the stuffed animal. It was a dark pink color. It was cute. I still didn't understand why Ashton was giving it to me, though, or why it said I'm sorry on it. He didn't have anything to apologize for. It was like the creamery all over again.

"I don't understand what this is for," I said, cautiously. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Ashton's cheeks turned pink. He hid his lips with his sweater, which was covering his hands. He looked sort of adorable, like a small puppy. He put his hands down, resting them in his lap. "I made you cry yesterday," he said. "At the hospital. I sort of, uh, freaked out and ran away, but I figured maybe I should apologize. It was an accident. I didn't mean—"

"Thank you, Ashton," I said, cutting him off. I wrapped my arms around him, giving him the best hug I could manage giving while we were sitting. He struggled to hug me back—which was sad for a seventeen or eighteen year old boy—but he finally put his arms around me, too. We let go. "You weren't really the reason for me crying, but I'm thankful for the kind gesture. You can have this back, if you want it."

He started to laugh. "Hell no! I paid three dollars for that, just for you. You're keeping it!"

I punched him lightly in the shoulder. He grasped it, letting out a wince. Then I remembered what Michael said a while ago. "He always used to cry when I hit him too hard." I quickly apologized to him.

The other three finally approached the table once again, trays of food in their hands. Michael's eyes lit up when he noticed his best friend at the table. "Ashton! You showed up! Awesome." He wrapped an arm around his shoulders, making Ashton almost fall over.

"Uh, yeah," Ashton murmured. "Do you mind if I steal some food from your tray? All the lines are closed."

Michael peeled a few pepperoni from his pizza and handed them to his best friend. Then he handed over a fruit cup and chocolate milk. Anna and Calum fed each other like they were a couple. It wouldn't surprise me if they were—even if they didn't tell anyone—because they both liked each other a lot. Michael didn't seem to care about their existence.

"So, where were you, buddy?" he asked Ashton. They started to have their own conversation.

"That's a cute bear, Regan. Where'd you get it from?" Anna exclaimed. She looked at me with a small smirk. "A boyfriend, perhaps?"

Anna adverted her attention to Ashton, who was looking at her with an oblivious facial expression. He finally stopped talking to Michael when he caught my best friend staring at him. "You've got a boyfriend?" he asked me. "Who?"

"You, silly!" Anna said happily, clapping her hands.

Ashton turned to face me. He gave me a questioning look. I shrugged, playing it off as if Anna was just messing around. "Yeah, um, I'm going to go to the bathroom now. I'll be back."

When he left, I turned back around, looking angrily at Anna. Great. Our friendship was probably ruined. He was probably going to the bathroom to throw up at the thought of us being together as more than friends.