savior

thirty three

DAY TWENTY FOUR; SEVEN DAYS TO GO

After school the next day, Ashton invited me over to his apartment. I was glad the two of us made up. We didn't talk about how rude I was, or what I said to him, or what he said to me. We avoided it all, because we were better than that. We didn't need to ruin our friendship because I was being rude, although, I would've have still if I were Ashton. I was glad he forgave me. If he would've died, I wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself; I wouldn't even be alive to hate myself.

We ended up popping a movie into the DVD player. I had no idea what it was, but Harry picked it out, so it could've been anything. I swear that kid was a nutjob,  but in a good way.

Lauren sat in the recliner next to the couch that I occupied, while Harry took a seat on the floor in front of the television. He seemed excited to see whatever he had picked out. Ashton came out from the kitchen, balancing multiple bowls of popcorn on both of his arms.

He took a seat next to me, and almost dropped all of the popcorn in the process. Before any of the little pieces could jump out, he handed each person a bowl. Then he wiped off his forehead, making it seem like making popcorn for four people was the biggest and hardest job in the history of the world.

The movie options screen popped up on the television, and I swear Ashton groaned in agony. "Are you kidding? We watched Finding Nemo last movie night," he said, throwing a piece of popcorn at Harry. "You're lucky I actually like this movie, kid, or else, I would've probably knocked you out."

Everyone laughed. "Shut up," Lauren said. "You have the muscles of a small school geek. You couldn't pound a fly if you tried."

Ashton looked embarrassed. He covered himself up in the giant blanket we were sharing—he was on one side of the couch and I was on the other—and turned off the lamp that was sitting on the side table next to him. The room was completely dark, other than the light from the screen.

The movie started, and although my eyes were on the screen, I wasn't really paying any attention to the movie. Eventually I just shifted my body so I was facing Ashton, but I rested my legs on his own, which were pulled close to his chest, like he was in a little ball.

I ended up getting uninterested as soon as Nemo got stolen by the scuba divers. I had seen this movie so many times with Kaitlynn, that I almost knew it all by heart. My eyes were glued to my nails, which I ended up peeling the yellow paint from. Under the blanket, I felt Ashton's feet hitting my thigh. I looked up at him.

He was looking at me with a slight smile on his face. The light shone on his face, giving me the ability to see him clearly. "You okay?" he mouthed to me. Lauren and Harry were too caught up in watching the movie that they didn't even notice that two of us weren't paying attention anymore.

I nodded my head at Ashton, and he smiled. But I wasn't okay, because the conversation between him and I the other day was beginning to get to me. What had he said to me before he hung up on me? Something about not cutting himself because of—because of me? That seemed unreasonable. All I had been to him was a friend, as best as I could. Sometimes I even failed at doing that.

I didn't really deserve to have a great friend like Ashton. He was too much of a good person to hang out with me. All I was to him the other day was a jerk. I wish Death would've found someone better for him. As much as I loved hanging out with him, he needed so much better.

"You don't look okay," Ashton whispered. I just looked at him, not wanting to say anything. It would suck if I ruined his night all because I was over thinking things. He moved his legs so they were hanging over the edge, his feet on the floor, and then he moved his fingers in a way to invite me closer to him.