Start All Over (On Hold)

27. Like What You See?

"Mom?" I softly called out while my knuckles gently rapped on the door of her bedroom. She had locked herself in her room all of Thursday night and had ignored mine and Derek's pleas to console her. I felt bad that Niall had to sit back and watch all of this happen, but he never complained once.

Instead, he stuck beside me and would constantly ask if I needed anything. I was more than grateful to have him there, but my guilt stricken mind wouldn't let me forget how I was supposed to make this a good weekend for him.

"Mom?" I repeated after getting no answer from her. I had a tray of food for her to eat since it was dinner time. Her being upset and not eating was worrying me, and she needed something in her system. Shockingly, her door was unlocked as I tested the knob.

The room was pitch black except for the stream of light that was being let in from the hallway since her door was now open. After entering the room, I closed it almost all the way so I could see where I was walking. "Mommy, I brought dinner."

The lump underneath the bedspread moved around, and I heard her let out a sigh.

"Please, you need to eat something..." I nearly begged while sitting beside her on the edge of the mattress.

I watched as she turned to meet my gaze. In the dim lighting, I could see her blood shot eyes, and the wetness still on her cheeks from her tears.

"Okay," she quietly conceded before sluggishly sitting up. Once she was resting against the headboard, I placed the tray in her lap.

She hesitantly began to eat, taking small bites of the leftovers from last night that I had reheated for everyone. My bottom lip began to quiver as I thought about how the holiday went from decent to a disaster in minutes.

"I'm so sorry."

My mom looked up at me concernedly, and she moved the tray to the side before pulling me into her arms.

A sob escaped me as I held onto her tight, not believing how selfless she was being by comforting me.

"It's not your fault, baby," she soothed, rubbing my back.

"But you're sad, and I just want you to be happy." Tears continued to run down my cheeks as I hugged my mother. Knowing how sad she was broke my heart. After constantly not being treated in a way she deserved by her husband, now one of her own children wasn't taking her feelings into account.

Paige knew how much she suffered trying to take care of three kids on her own and try to afford everything without help from anyone. Sometimes my grandparents would send a check, which my mom was usually reluctant to accept.

It was ironic how my older sister thought I was the selfish one. To her it was my fault because seeing my father cheat on my father so much that I just had to blab about it.

My crying stopped after a few minutes of us sitting in silence. Me coming to my mom's room in tears wasn't anything new from over the past eight years, and she new how to comfort me better than anyone. I felt terrible that I couldn't comfort her back, all these years she'd taken care of me, and when she needed someone to lean on, I still needed her comfort.

"I am happy, honey," she finally answered, gently rubbing my back, "I'm upset right now, but this pain is just temporary."

"You're too good for us." A tiny laugh came from me and I wiped at my cheeks with the back of my hand.

The sound of my mom's laugh lifted a weight off my shoulders and she shook her head. "No, that's just what being a mom is all about."

* * *