MerAdd Oneshots

You'd be a great Mom

"You know, you'd be a great Mom" the compliment from Meredith as I held a tiny baby in the NICU was unexpected, surprising, but most of all, flattering. It was no secret that I loved babies, even less of a secret that I wanted one of my own. But Meredith complimenting me as we rounded on the NICU preemies and survivors was the nicest thing she'd ever said to me.

"Thank you" I smile, placing the baby down gently in the incubator. She fussed for a moment, but I kept my hand on her back until she calmed down, rubbing slow and soothing circles so she knew she was okay.

"It's like they can sense you, all you have to do is be near them and they're suddenly content. It's amazing, it's magical to watch really" she tells me, seemingly in a mix of amazement and awe.

I shrug nonchalantly, because I've been doing this for so long it almost feels like second nature and not nearly as big of a deal. "Babies seem to like me; I think it's because they can sense that I'm calm around them, they like that. It's makes them feel safe"

Meredith nods understandingly "So why don't you have any kids of your own?"

A question I'd asked myself many times. For years, all I'd ever wanted was a baby. I thought up names, I looked longingly at the baby section in target, I'd even decided how I'd decorate the nursery if I was given the opportunity to.

But life has different plans, and ten years of my life was spent with a man who didn't want kids 'right away'. And then right away turned into 'not quite yet' and not quite yet turned into 'when work calms down' and that turned into 'I want a divorce'. A sad cycle that ended in a childless, thirty eight year old me. Too old to have any babies of my own.

"Life goes fast" I sigh "I was so caught up with school and then work, it passed me by. All of it. I'm too old to have any babies now; I saw a doctor who told me my eggs are scrambled" I try to make light of this depressing conversation but I can tell Meredith isn't buying into it.

"It must be hard" she finally says, after some silence "being around all of these babies and not having one to go home to"

I can't find my voice to answer; a knot in my throat tells me to keep quiet.

So I nod.

~

"You know, I didn't think I'd ever want to have kids" Meredith says one day, a week or two later, completely out of the blue. "My Mother was a nightmare; the idea of children terrified me for so long"

I raise an eyebrow. "Your opinion has changed, I assume?"

She shrugs "It still terrifies me. I think it's supposed to. But I do want to have kids. I even saw an OBGYN last week to have tests done, just to make sure everything was running smoothly. I was looking into freezing some eggs just in case"

She didn't have to tell me, but I knew she'd been slightly scared by my sad and childless existence. Not wanting to be me motivated her to do something about it. I wish I'd been that smart at her age.

But I wasn't. So here I am.

"The tests went well?" I ask, figuring that they probably did considering her age. She was in prime condition.

She nods "Most did, yes. Everything is up to par, except for one thing" she sighs "the OB did an ultrasound to see how my uterus looked. She told me my uterus is tilted and because it's slightly tilted, delivering would be difficult. The chances of me delivering a baby naturally is slim to none. She recommended C-section, actually. Said it'd be safer"

I was surprised slightly, but it wasn't an overly huge problem. She could still have kids.

"The problem is I don't wanna be sliced open like a cantaloupe six ways to Sunday. C's take longer to recover from, they're harder on the body, and the risk of the wound reopening if I ever decided to have a second baby is definitely there" she lists off, making me slightly annoyed. She could still have children. How they get into the world shouldn't matter; having them is what matters.

"So I have a proposal" she declares "you like me enough, right Addie?"

I nod "We're friends, Meredith" it was weird but true; we'd become closer than expected since meeting. We spent time together every day, even when it wasn't work mandatory. She was someone I liked to spend my time around.

"Good, then don't laugh in my face or call me crazy when I tell you this" she takes in a breath, which worries me, but I continue to listen attentively "I think we should have a baby together"

Silence.

Dead fucking silence.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" I ask, unsure of what to think "seriously, are you alright?"

"Addie, listen" she reasons "I have the gift, but no gift wrap. You've got the gift wrap but no gift. We could combine our efforts and have a baby together, with two parents who love it. Like divorced couples do"

"And how the hell would we do that?" I demand "do you have a secret dick you've been hiding?"

She stifles a laugh, I can tell, but nonetheless continues explaining her point.

"Reciprocal IVF. We take my eggs and mix them with a sperm donor, then put it into you. My bun, your oven"

I think for a moment. And then two. It's a reasonable idea, two parents would still be there and the baby would be born healthy without Meredith being cut into like whatever fruit she wanted.

"Are you being serious right now?" I ask slowly. This was something I'd wanted my entire life, and she was offering it to me like it was the last slice of pizza. As if having a child together was something normal people discussed.

"Addie, I'm dead serious. You say the word, we book a fertility specialist. Best in the country, God knows we can afford it" she wasn't wrong; we both came from families with money and between her mother's savings and my trust fund, we could easily have all the babies we ever wanted.

"What if one of us gets married?" I ask, finding a hole in the plan.

She shrugs it off easily. "Like a divorced couple, we split custody"

"Meredith, you are fucking nuts!" I laugh, smiling ear to ear. "Absolutely insane! I don't know what runs through your head half the damn time!"

"Is that a yes?"

"That" I confirm "is a hell yes"

We look at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. Smiling seemed natural, we were both beaming. Meredith broke the silence first, with the happiest laugh I'd ever heard.

"Were having a baby"