MerAdd Oneshots

Can I touch you?

"Addison..." Meredith looked at me sadly, like she knew exactly why I was crying. But instead of questioning me, or asking me to talk about it in the annoying way people sometimes do, she sat with me. She just sat, no questions or talking, simply sitting.

I was sitting in a supply closet, crying my eyes out at nearly two in the morning. Most doctors had gone home at this point, most were in bed asleep, but I'd been paged to deliver a baby and Meredith...well she seemed to always be working the graveyard shift.

There was something about empty closets at two am that made me nostalgic, a kind of nostalgic that would eventually lead to my crying alone until somebody walks in to sit with me.

"I'm sorry" I sniff, wiping my eyes "this is stupid; you don't need to stay. Go get some sleep or something" I couldn't even begin to tell you why I was crying, I just knew that I was. And it didn't help that while I was currently having some issues involving my personal feelings for Meredith Catherine Grey, and she just happened to show up.

Personal issues as in I had what seemed to be a crush on her, despite my homophobic catholic upbringing.

"Addison" she says my name a second time, and I can't help but love the way it sounds on her lips. I'd never liked any girls before, but lately, she just seemed to be the only person I could focus on. I'd noticed that I started to feel weird things for her one day a couple months back, and ever since then I couldn't un-notice it.

"You don't need to worry; I'm not leaving and I'm certainly not judging you. You're stressed out, it's okay" she reached out and touched my arm gently, and as corny as it sounds, I could feel the sparks flying up my shoulder. Her hand was small and soft and warm, a feeling I could get used to.

I sigh, and Meredith inches a little closer to me. "I shouldn't be like this; this is pathetic" I wipe my eyes again, vigorously, as if my hands can remove my feelings. Making fists, I stop wiping my face and begin to cry all over again, my hands covering my face.

"Hey, hey, hey" Meredith takes my own hands into her own and looks me in the eyes. "It's all right; you don't need to cover up. I understand" I don't know how she could possibly understand, but she acts as if she does which makes me feel the slightest bit better. One of her hands comes up to wipe my cheek, before she pulls me in for a hug.

"Addison" my name on her lips sounds like sin, as she pulls back slightly enough to look me in the eyes but not enough to be far away. Her nose is touching mine, one of her hands cups my tear stained cheek, and all I'm aware of is her presence so close to mine and her breath hot on my lips.

All I want is to kiss her; to relieve the pent up tension I've been harbouring. I want to feel her against me in every single way and I want to know that she wants me back.

But it's not right; I was raised to know that this wasn't right. Having feelings for girls was a sin, and my Mother always made sure I knew that. Never in my life had I liked a girl, not until I met Meredith. The internal struggle was hard, and I didn't know if I wanted to move closer or back away.

The answer would've been simple had my parents been atheists.

"Can I touch you?" Her voice rasps, as her fingertips graze my cheekbone.

I can feel more tears running down my face, warm and fast. "It's wrong" I sob out "it's a sin" but still, my hands gripped her shirt and had no intentions of letting go; my fingers had locked around her and as much as I didn't want to feel like this, I did.

"No baby" she moves to kiss my neck, slow and soft open-mouthed kisses that made me sigh in relief and pleasure. "It isn't wrong; it's right" her breath fans out over my neck and I moan with the sensation; my heart is pounding and my breathing has gone erratic and I never want this moment to end.

"Addison" she whispers into my ear, before kissing it gently "let me touch you" and I know she doesn't mean platonically or friendly or the way she's been touching me up to this moment. She wants to really touch me, and I can't think of anything else I want more.

"Please" I sob, leaning against her "please, Meredith, please" and just like that, she's kissing me. Her lips are small and soft, they feel nice against my own. It's different compared to kissing a man; a good different. It's like a soft satin compared to rough wool.

She moves to straddle me, one leg on either side of my waist. Her mouth is still kissing me, her tongue is still exploring every single crevice of my mouth.

A hand goes under my scrub top and I nearly howl; instead, I moan obscenely as her skilled surgeons fingers work over my breasts.

"Please" I sob out again, not thinking coherently enough to tell her what I want, what I need. "Please, please"

She's sliding down my body now; pulling my scrubs down just enough to get to my underwear. With a thumb hooked in the waistband, she's got them down and her mouth lowers over me. All I can see is white.

It were as if my body were not my own; I'd never experienced pleasure this intense before in my life. Her tongue lapped and licked while her teeth grazed and gently nibbled. It felt like my entire body was on fire, a feeling I'd never felt before in my life. If the tightening in my stomach was anything to go by, I'd be coming sooner rather than later.

Her tongue circled my clit, before she slid back up to kiss my eager lips, one of her clothed thighs coming between my own to create a type of friction I couldn't begin to describe. I tasted myself on her tongue, and it was oddly arousing, despite what I'd always thought.

"You're beautiful like this" she whispers harshly against my lips, as my hips move against her thigh in all the right ways "naked and pleasured, you are stunning" as if on cue, my hips found the right angle and I was screaming into her mouth as the most intense orgasm of my life washed over me with abandon.

Panting, I look up at Meredith, who smooths the hair away from my sweaty forehead and kisses it gently.

"That was..." I'm not sure what to say; I don't feel guilt like I thought I would, instead I feel relief. Like I'd finally gotten rid of all the tension and pressure that had been building inside of me. Every muscle in my body was limp, but she wasn't done with me yet.

"Do you have one more for me, baby?" She whispers, her fingers going to my entrance and sliding in slickly. "One more for me, give me one more" she coaxes, as I arch my back and gasp sharply. Everything is so sensitive still, but I don't care. I want to feel more, I want to feel everything.

"Please" I gasp out, as her two fingers work in and out of me at a steady pace "please" it seemed to be the only word I could say, apparently. But Meredith didn't seem to care; quite the opposite, actually.

"You can do it for me, one more. You're so good, begging for it. So good for me" she kisses down my neck, then my chest, and finally my breasts. It feels like it's all too much, and I don't know how much more I can handle without combusting.

Finally, I come again, and she pulls my spasming body into her welcome arms, holding me close as I sighed contently against her chest.

"You did so good for me babydoll. So good" she praised, making me feel proud. I was on top of the world now, and I began to wonder why I ever thought this was bad, why it was a sin.

My Mother obviously hadn't been fucked by a girl if she thought it was a sin.

"This isn't a sin" Meredith tells me, as if reading my thoughts "the only sin here, is that we haven't been doing this long before now"

I agree.