Death could be so unpredictable, am I right? You see I never really pictured how I'll die. My life was okay, or as okay as okay could be for me. Haunted from my past. Always pretending. Except with Adrian. My Adrian. With him I can be happy.
But t...
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, 5 taps against my knee, with each 1 of my fingers. 5-5-5-5-5. 5 minutes I have been sitting here waiting and listening to the wall clock go tick-tock---tick-tock---tick-tock---tick-tock---tick-tock. 5-5-5-5-5.
At last, she shows up, taking her usual seat across from me in the small squared space. Today she is late, which is unusual since she's always very prompt. At least 15 minutes of our time has been wasted.
"Good morning, Shelby." Her voice always reminds me of honey dripping off a crispy piece of toast.
"Morning, Dr. Lewis," I say nonchalantly as I draw my eyes away from the boring brown rug to focus on her.
She smiles, that one smile that always irritates me since it's forced and ends up lopsided. I return a toothy grin of my own as she asks, "Did you have any nightmares last night?"
Smoke-rising-choking-me-suffocating-me.
"What do you think?"
She twirls her fountain pen between her fingers. "Yes, you had them."
The-house-in-flames-the-heat-searing-my-face.
"Pat yourself on the back for your answer is correct," I smirk as I eye the silver nameplate standing nice and tall on her desk. Dr. Lewis, it reads in bold black letters. Doctor, yeah sure.
She doesn't seem amused. Damn.
"Did you skip a dose again?"
"I-I..." The smoke suffocating me till I can't take any more. I scratch at my neck, struggling to breathe, a small cry escaping from my parted lips.
"Shelby!" Dr. Lewis sounds concerned, possibly also a little nervous. She's never witnessed me break down like this before. Smart that she at least knows how to react. Grabbing onto my arms, she pulls my hands away from my neck, and places them at my sides on the cliche' therapist recliner. "Take deep breaths," she instructs and I inhale and exhale deeply.
After a few minutes of 'taking deep breaths', she asks, "Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine," I lie, tears stinging at the back of my eyes.
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I am insane.
"What's happening?" Her eyes dance like the flames before me.
I inhale deeply. "What happened is that I'm crazy..."
"Why would you call yourself crazy?"
I scowl at her. "Because I am. Everyone knows that."
"Yeah, and who is this everyone?" Her voice has a challenge to it.
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