Eclipse Child |✔|

|4|

and i think the 

saddest thing

is how it is so much 

easier 

to just not say 

anything

at 

all. 

-kpt

***

I walk back into the pack house, pausing at the doorway to wipe my feet on the rug- my spirits lifted from talking to Schulman and Leo.

They come plummeting back down the moment I look up and see father's angry face.

I remain silent as he comes forward, arms crossed and familiar glare piercing into me.

"Dad let me-"

"What." He stops short a few inches from me, using his height to an advantage as he looks down from above, "were you thinking?"

I swallow thickly and glance behind him, checking to see if maybe mother or Sandra were there.

But there's no one.

I look back up to him, pulling myself up to my full height as I glare back.

"I drove to see if they would accept me."

"And did they?"

I flinch from his disbelieving tone.

".... No..."

A look of conflict enters his face. It's one that I'm used to. One that tells me he is struggling with himself. Turning over my words and taking them in. Trying to process his feelings and understand if this was a good or bad thing.

"You should have known better."

"That what? They wouldn't want me?" I take a daring step forward raising an accusing finger at him, "If you had trained me more or maybe if you weren't so pro-"

"Don't blame your failure on others."

That shuts me up.

We are both breathing hard, our anger getting the best of us like it always did.

"You should have known better," he repeats again.

He turns away and suddenly, I can't stay quiet anymore like I had always done in the past.

"I could have made it."

He stops, his head turning to take me in.

I feel a pressure in my chest, tears collecting behind my eyes.

I so desperately wanted to tell him.

I wanted to run to him and cry and tell him what had happened in that office.

But his glare has me swallowing my words down as I shake my head, "I could have..."

"You didn't Soraya. Accept it and move on from this...this..."

He pushes a frustrated hand through his hair. He can't even find a word for what I have.

He's used many in the past though.