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later that night 

i held an Atlas in my lap

ran my fingers across the whole 

world

and whispered

where does it hurt?

it answered 

everywhere

everywhere

everywhere

-Waran Shire

***

I wake up with strokes of fire licking my back and crawling up in waves of heated pain.

I'm covered in sweat, gasping.

My chest rises and falls to the distress my body is under, the pain that pulses within me.

A low whine catches my attention.

Orion had woken me, my agony the source for his own. He quickly jumps off the bed, the movement causing me to inhale sharply.

It's been a while since this has happened.

I want to reach up and stop Orion. Almost instinctively I know what he is going to do. Just as I conclude in my mind, he shifts, quickly changing into his discarded clothes and running out the room.

Wait. No. Don't.

Instead of words though, a low moan of pain leaves me.

My door bursts open again, the sound of the frame colliding with the wall,  jolting me into alertness.

"Soraya," dad's voice reaches my hearing. I feel hands- his hands- on me.

He says nothing else. From the side of my eye, I watch as mom comfortingly tries to sooth Orion. Hopefully, she would explain to him why this was happening.

I grit my teeth, feeling tears of frustration rise in me.

One tear manages to escape as dad lifts me from the bed.

"I know. I know," he whispers.

I close my eyes.

I didn't want Orion to see this. And I hated whenever dad saw this.

Yet they still were here, witnessing how weak I was.

I feel each jolt in my body as dad takes the steps. I know he is trying to be careful. I know he is trying so hard to not jostle me. But each movement still creates rips of torture on my back. I refused to scream.

Blood surfaces to my mouth as I bite down on the side of it, stifling pain with more.

I know he can smell the iron- the metallic scent leaking out of me.

But I refuse to scream.

Time always seemed to pass like a blur whenever this happened. Like I had been submerged in water. My surroundings became dim and muted. It was hard to breath, hard to see, and hard to process what happened around me.

I was only vaguely aware of the direction we were driving in.

Dad answers my unspoken question.

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