Eclipse Child |✔|

|45|

They say war is hell, but, darling, true

hell begins when the battle ends and you're

the only one whose hands still drip red.

- the real war rages in your heart; it always has | j.s.

***

I can't go in.

The door is closed in front of me, blocking my access, but it's not the wood that prevents me from entering. My forehead leans forward, pressing against the frame as I take in the sound.

Orion's cries can be heard.

Faint.

Muffled.

Maybe he had a pillow pressed to his cheek, but I knew better.

Judging but the layer of skin I had seen him wear this morning, it was probably bloody knuckles that were clenched down tight in his teeth while he cried.

I should go in.

I should go in.

The knob stares in front of me, waiting.

I can hear you...don't you know I can hear you? Aren't you aware that the pack house, if they listened in closely and tried to find the noise that bothered them, can hear you?

I can't show my pain in such a way. Maybe they whisper about it, confused and curious.

Why is he crying...didn't she win?

Blinded by misery.

I can't go in.

I have no right to. Orion's sobs don't die down. They only become worse. They only become more filled with pain. I had no right to comfort him when I was the one who had inflicted such pain on him in the first place.

***

"Alpha Theon can be scheduled to visit within the next week. He's been asking again and we've held him off for too long now."

Henry taps his foot against the floor, staring at me silently.

The question hangs in the air, but I move past it.

"We have the reports from the other packs that we sent warriors too. Also the shipment of herbs and their progress in growth."

Henry still is silent.

I want to ignore it. I want him to also.

"Soraya...should you be...resting?"

"They made me stay in the clinic for two days and left me three days in the pack house. You know already Henry. I sent you the report of my-,"

"I don't mean physically..."

He stops, clearing his throat, "I guess a week is enough for you."

Ignore.

I ignore the meaning behind his words and push past whatever they implied.

"Is there any word from Mattock's pack about a challenge to honor his name?"

"None...I don't think any of the brothers were close. His...mate is too distressed to issue one and their child is only three..."

Ignore.

The burning sensation within my chest can't be pushed aside. It's something that won't go away now. I've decided it's my own hellfire- swallowed when I brought down personal damnation upon my soul.