Eclipse Child |✔|

|38|

the kind of smile,

that would be cruel

not to kiss

-atticus

***

They are exactly where I last saw them.

Sitting in the backyard, their world peaceful while mine was going up in flames.

"Dad."

I clear my throat, cringing at how the single word broke. How weak it sounded. He turns to me, his eyes growing sad as they take in my appearance. Mom turns also, paint now splattered along her arms and hands. Small smudges can be seen on her face and shirt.

"Do you need something?"

With the attention of dad's eyes focused on me, I panic.

What was I doing? Why was I going to him? It shouldn't be him. I needed to see Orion. I needed to tell Orion. Orion was the one I should be going to.

But I can't move. I can't look away from those blue eyes- eyes that match my own- as I whisper, "Can I talk to you?"

He slowly stands, cautious in his movements. A wary expression has come over him as if a surprise attack were to come at any moment.

Silently we walk away from mom's worried gaze and up the stairs. Wordlessly we enter the office.

Unlike last time though, I don't sit down across from him. I take the far end chair, one that looks out the window. He follows me, sitting so that we are side by side.

"You have a question about the pack?"

I shake my head. Silence continues between us. I can't take it. I can't look at him, so instead, I lower my head, folding it into my hands.

"I...I need to tell you..."

"What's up." He leans back in his chair, his gaze going down to watch mom as she still painted in the backyard.

"I think I'm...I might be...It's possible..."

My stuttered words, the unsure tone and breaking edge- all of it suddenly click in him. He looks at me in alarm, moving closer.

"Is it your back? Is something wrong?"

I freeze. I didn't want to say it aloud. Saying it aloud made it true. Making it true meant...

"I'm pregnant."

His body goes rigid. Like my own reaction, he only whispers a single word.

"No."

I look away from him, tasting the bitterness of failure in my mouth.

"I told you though..." His breathing becomes shallower, his head slowly shaking in denial, "Aunt Jewels...you said Orion understood...you said you were going to visit Lewis...the herbs...we talked about the herbs Soraya, what...?"

"It's my fault."

"You..." his eyes dart down to my stomach, squinting as if he can see through to tell what laid inside already. And then his face of horror breaks.

"What are you going to do."

"What?"

He moves closer, a panic coming into his eyes.

"Decide. What are you going to do."

"I haven't told Orion-,"

"This concerns the pack more than him."