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There were always those nights 

where her mind went to war with her heart 

the fight between what she knew, what she felt

and what she had to do 

sometimes the hardest decisions

are made under the moon

r.h. sin

***

My own words haunt me as I reflect to them. Sometimes we say the most profound things without acknowledging the advice we give in consideration to ourselves.

A deserved punishment.

Everything has its consequences.

Everything comes with a price and every decent desire has a demon standing behind it.

I smile at Orion, masking my pain with my lips as he kisses them. Smile and laugh, trying to get away as fast as I can without making him notice anything.

Orion is observant in many ways.

But there are some things he is still ignorant to.

"I have training."

His arms wrap back around me, pulling me to land on the bed with him.

"One day, please."

"No Orion, let go," I can't help but laugh as he tries to initiate his puppy eyes while wearing skin.

"I really have to train. You know I have to."

He sighs and stares at me, pausing on my face. I take him in as well. Instinct takes over as I reach for his face, feeling the rough texture of his beard grating against my skin. He leans his head, playfully nipping at my wandering fingers.

"Hurry back."

I smile, warmth spreading into my guilt- the two feelings colliding to create a sick mixture as I pull back.

"Will you be at the nursey?"

His face lights up, like a rising sun. The pure joy upon his features blinds me as he sits up. "Yes. Thana just learned how to walk." The pride in his voice is unmistakable. It is almost as if he is talking of his own child and not another's.

"I'll pick you up later then..."

He leans back on the bed, shrugging and closing his eyes away from the early morning. The darkness of the sky still penetrating the windows.

I pause at the doorway, taking him in. His dirty blond hair that is tossed around, coiled into knots because I didn't brush it after the bath.

His body is bare, laying for me to see. He opens one eye, a silent smirk on his face as he watches me. I roll my own, closing the door behind me to cut him off from my sight.

My resolve becomes stronger once he is not in my view. Once his scent is not invading my nose. I take a steady breath and walk out the pack house.

The clinic comes into view after several minutes. The lights are dim, showing someone was inside. Desperately, I hoped it wasn't Leo.

My wishes are heard. Schulman sits alone and silent in his office, staring at the wall in front of him. I look at it also, taking in the fall scenery and knowing only one person could have painted such a masterpiece for him.

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