The Skabelse

The Return

Within the hour, Caspian kept true to his word and notified everyone that they should meet back at the High Palace. Most thought it was a good idea and were glad to have an objective to keep their minds off of yesterday's events, but there were some who disagreed and wished to travel home as they believed it was a ploy to vanquish them once they reached the Palace.

When Rowan heard that the Thestrin's -those that followed Blanche religiously- were turning back to retreat to their mountain tops, she didn't bat an eye. After all, could she blame them? "They are free to do as they wish I suppose," she told Torvi as she pulled the thick leather strap on her horses saddle. Torvi pressed her lips into a thin line but said nothing as she too readied her horse for their departure.

Once everyone was saddled up and ready, they began to make their way out of the Razoul plains. The journey back was a long and somber one as hardly anyone spoke, for they were deep in thought of what was to come. Only stopping a few times to eat and take a break, they rode through the night and arrived at the main gates by mid-afternoon. The mass of people that flooded the grand courtyard caused Rowan to feel claustrophobic and she tried her best to control her breathing. She felt silly to be bothered by something so trivial, but fatigue and anxiety had sunk it's claws into her body and mind and she was desperate for alleviation.

Many stable boys and maids greeted them to take their horses to the stable and offer them something to drink, but when a young woman with fiery red hair handed Rowan a waterskin, she waved her off rather harshly and continued to the High Palace alone. She felt somewhat guilty for how she treated the young girl, but at the moment was too selfish to turn around and apologize.

In the distance she could hear Bjorn calling her name which only made her quicken her pace. The long journey had made her already exhausted body even more drained and she craved solitude.

Pushing against the heavy wooden doors of the Palace, her eyes quickly scanned her surroundings. A group of guards that stayed behind had gathered in a circle that blocked the left hallway that led to the training yard, no doubt discussing the new shifts that would be required considering the amount of guests they would host. In front of her, a cook was barking orders as to what they should prepare for dinner. The only option was to turn right, which led to the wing where the guest rooms were.

Her feet moved before she had told them too and she rushed up the familiar flight of stairs that led to her floor. Taking the first corridor to her left, she continued her fast pace past the empty rooms before she came across the wooden door that was her mother's and froze.

She hadn't meant to come this way as she knew it would only upset her more, but her hand was already twisting the door handle before she could stop herself.

The faint smell of lilac and vanilla filled the air and she smiled softly as her mother's scent enveloped her. She slowly turned around and locked the door not wanting to be disturbed before she made her way to the plush, messy bed and sat down, running her fingers over the soft blankets that once warmed her mother.

Rowan opened her mouth slightly before quickly closing it as she debated if she should attempted to speak to her. The Gladeswomen never believed in life after death, and that what was dead was just that-dead. Shaking her head to herself, she pushed those thoughts from her mind and decided that if her mother was listening, now would be the time.

Taking a deep breath, she laid back until her head connected with a pillow and turned on her side, bringing her knees to her chest as she thought about what she should say. After a few moments, her eyes began to slightly sting and she wiped away a stray tear with her calloused palm before speaking up. "If you're listening, I just wanted to say that I love and miss you terribly. I feel as if you're shadow looms over me as I speak and I do not know if that means I'm going mad or if I'm just desperate for you to hear me. I'm not really sure what to think of do at this point; a part of me just feels like giving up but another part tells me to keep pressing on until we have come up with a solution," she said before pausing, "If you were here you'd know exactly what to do. The others, they look up to me for guidance and orders already and I do not like the burden. I don't think I ever will..." she trailed off. That's another matter on its own.