Sander Sides One-Shots

Virgil & Thomas - Distorted Voice 3

Trigger: Panic Attack, PTSD, small Violence mention

"Hey V," Thomas called tiredly, "can I borrow your calculator?" It was past midnight and both of them were in the living room working on study guides and forgotten homework. "Why, what happened to yours?" Virgil asked irritatedly. "Roman borrowed it earlier, but left it in his room and fell asleep," Thomas responded yawning in the middle of his explanation. "Well, sucks to suck because I need it," Virgil scoffed. Thomas sighed and went to the kitchen for some water. He filled a glass for himself and Virgil, knowing that he hasn't drank anything in the last few hours. He quietly walked back to the living room and placed Virgil's glass next to him before sitting on the couch to do his work. Thomas decided to ask for Virgil's calculator later, seeing as he was obviously stressing. He took a drink of his water before setting it next to him on the floor and started working on his E.L.A homework.

    Why teachers gave students homework during exam prep was far beyond him. He finished his english homework after at least thirty minutes and grabbed his history homework. His back cracking from sitting in one position for too long and suddenly Virgil was yelling at him. "Oh my fucking god Thomas," Virgil quietly yelled his voice distorting at the end, "can't you just sit there quietly and do whatever work you have left?!" Virgil was yelling, but not too loud or he'd wake everyone else in the house. "I haven't said anything," Thomas replied confused. Why was Virgil so mad, he literally just grabbed his history homework. "You may not of said anything, but you keep making fucking noise! My god I could just punch you," Virgil raged. Thomas gasped quietly, remembering the instance with Mike and how scared he was.

    "Virgil, stop," Thomas said, his voice shaking, but Virgil kept going. He told Thomas how useless he was, told him he couldn't do anything helpful, and so many more awful things in that distorted voice. All Thomas could think about was that moment with Mike and how useless he was. Virgil was right, he couldn't do anything right. The shakiness started and tears fell rapidly after that thought. All he could see was Virgil unconscious after Mike punched him and how he didn't do anything about it. Virgil realized his mistake the moment he saw Thomas' tears. "Whoa, T-" Virgil cut himself off when Thomas flinched. Virgil quickly went to get a white board and a dry erase marker. He returned and knelt in front of Thomas, guilt flooding him when he saw that he sent Thomas into a panic attack.

    Virgil gently rubbed Thomas' leg to get his attention. He flinched and his breathing increased slightly before he looked up, seeing the message that Virgil had written. 'I am so sorry T, I sound not of have yelled at you. I have just been very stressed. It is not fair of me to take it out on you,' the message read. Virgil reached for his hand and held Thomas' hand after he gave Virgil the okay. Thomas tears still ran, but slowed down after Virgil gently wiped them away with his free hand. 'Can I sit next to you and hold you?' Virgil asked on the white board. Thomas nodded, and Virgil climbed on the couch with him. He held out his arms and Thomas leaned back. The shaking took awhile to cease as did Thomas' increased breathing, but he eventually calmed down. They sat like that until they were both relaxed and fell asleep.

I've never had a panic attack & I won't go into detail. I don't mean to offend anyone if I did.
Suggestions and creative criticism are always welcome!