n i n e t e e n

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When dad comes back, I'm still in the same spot he left me at. I figured with everybody focusing on Hershel, it's best for me to stay where I'm at instead of wandering around and passing out; once again. He tells me that three of the prisoners are dead. I just nod, I didn't know them therefore I don't care about them. He sits in front of me and I know we're about to have a long discussion.

"Why didn't you tell me it was getting worse?" He asks grabbing my small hands in his larger ones. 

"I didn't think it was that bad." I tell him with a shrug. I suppose that's not what he wanted to hear because he gives me a huff. 

"Cheri, do you even know what you look like?" His voice is strained. He's worried about me and I wish he wasn't. He doesn't need that stress.

"No." I whisper.  I don't even remember the last time I looked in a mirror.

"You look like one of them," He says pointing towards the outside. I already know he means the walkers. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. "Next time you start feeling bad, find me or if you can't find someone like Hershel or Carol." 

"What if it's too late?" I ask him.

"Don't let it get that bad." He tells me with a stern look. "Try to find food, or water. Don't wait 'till it's too late." 

"Okay," I whisper and he pulls me into a hug. 

"I don't wanna lose my little girl." He whispers into my hair. I squeeze him harder assuring him that I'm right there. It reminds me of my dream but I stay quite because Carl comes down the stairs saying that Hershel might be waking up. 

With one last look at each other, dad and I head to the others and Hershel. Sure enough his eyes are open and Maggie and Beth are crying. The old man made it out alive and I'm grateful. I can't imagine how they must feel. If I lost dad I don't know what I'd do. 

One by one, the group disperses and I leave with Carl. We haven't been ourselves lately, maybe we can be kids for just a couple minutes. 

"You wanna play cards?" I ask and he shakes his head. 

"I found the infirmary," he says randomly. I look at him strange wondering why he brought that up. "I got yelled at for doing something good."

"It was also dangerous, you realize that right?" I ask him and he just glares. 

"Why is everyone after me! I helped save Hershel." He snaps. My eyes widen, what happened to the sweet blue eyed boy I know. 

"We're all grateful for that but what if you hadn't made it out alive?" I suggest the possibility of what could've happened. He glares at me and storms off. Somethings changed within him, maybe being out on the road for so long. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

___

The next day I wake up early. Only half of the group is up but we're working on making the prison ours. The morning air is somewhat chilly so I pull on a flannel that used to belong to dad until I took it. 

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Carol asks. "We could use their help."

"Up in the guard tower," Dad says lazily lifting a hand to point to it.

"Guard tower?" Rick questions. "They were just up there last night."

"Glenn! Maggie!" Dad yells and suddenly Glenn exits the guard tower without a shirt. Dad covers my eyes as he buttons his jeans. I laugh a little bit and remove his hands. "You coming?"

"What?" Glenn asks as the adults do a poor job of holding in their laughter.

"You comin'?" Dad repeats. Glenn just stares blankly at us. "Come on we could use a hand."

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