t h i r t y n i n e

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The next morning Carl wakes up right after I do. He rolls onto his back and lightly groans before rubbing his eyes. He sits up and looks at his dad before standing and grabbing a bag half full of cereal.

I stand up myself and follow him into the kitchen where he's pouring the cereal into three bowls.

"Hey." I say rubbing his hair a little bit before sitting in the chair next to him. 

"Hey." He replies not looking up from what he's doing as he pours the last bowl.  "The room upstairs, it has a lot of stuff. I'm gonna go up there if you want to join me." 

"Sure." I say and he grabs his bowl while I grab mine. We sit on the bed. Him reading a small book while I go for a book that looks like it could be the size of my head. 

I used to love reading at the public library. Dad took me there whenever Merle was causing chaos in the house or whenever Grandpa Will would be making an appearance at our house. 'You don't need to be around them like that' he would tell me. I always was thankful for it. 

At the library I would curl up in one of the nooks in the kids section and just read my day away until dad found me a couple hours later. A stack of books was always beside me and they were some of the best moments in my life. 

After a long while, Carl sets his book down and gets off the bed."I'll be back." I simply nod and return my attention to my book. 

I soon hear him yelling at Rick to wake up and run downstairs. There are walkers pounding at our door now. Carl slowly backs away from it and I look at him nodding my head to the back door. We have to take care of them. 

There are two of them clawing at the door violently, wanting to get inside. 

"Hey you." Carl says and the walkers turn their attention back to them. "Fresh meat, right here come and get it. Let's take a walk. Keep up."

I raise my crossbow and aim it at their heads firing a bolt straight through the females brain. One down. I yank the bolt out of the dead walker and reload while Carl taunts the other one away from me. 

But the boy isn't watching where he's going and another walker comes up behind him. He falls to the ground and kicks the walker away, and shoots the other one right above him.  The walker he kicked is back on its feet and nearing him but he's not in a position to shoot due to the dead walkers weight keeping him down. 

I quickly aim and fire a bolt into it's head and run to the boy pulling the walkers off of him. He exhales and I pull him into my arms. "Don't do that again." 

Pulling away, he lurches over and vomits onto the dirt. "I won't."

We walk back to the house in silence with our hands clasped together. When we get back Rick is still passed out on the couch. 

"We killed three walkers." Carl tells him. "They were at the door, they were gonna get in, but we lured them away. We killed them. We saved you. I saved you. I didn't forget while you had us playing farmer."

So thats why he's angry. I understand his anger but he shouldn't be taking it out on his father. Rick just didn't want Carl to lose himself, but we're not kids. Not in this world.

"I still know how to survive." Carl continues. "Lucky for us. I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to protect me anymore. I can protect myself. You probably can't even protect me anyways. You couldn't protect Judith. You couldn't protect Hershel, or Glenn, or Maggie, Michonne, Daryl, or Mom. You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide. He knew where we were and you didn't care! You just waited behind those fences and waited. They're all gone now! They're probably dead now! They counted on you! You were their leader!" 

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