The rise and fall of an Idol Producer

Chapter 37 - You will never understand

The tour started and it got even more hectic these days. The boys were struggling a lot with the tight schedule I could tell. I tried my best with their manager to keep their spirit high. It was my first time to see the production behind a whole tour and I was impressed by the work the staff had put in. After the North American leg of the tour things got more difficult. When we arrived in Mexico the atmosphere was tensed. Jimin and Namjoon were not talking to each other much for a whole day. The rest of us was clueless on what had happened but when we arrived at the venue the situation changed. Their manager had left me with the boys after the first rehearsals were done. The mood of everyone was bad and I could tell that they needed a break. Seems like I was not the only one feeling this way. Jimin was on his phone when Namjoon entered the room. They glared at each other without saying anything. What happened to them? I returned to answer some E-Mails and tried to ignore them like the others. After all they are a team so they need to find a solution by themselves. My heart wanted to resolve the situation but my mind shut my heart down.

"Say what you want to say Hyung!", Jimin spat towards Namjoon. I looked up and watched them both glaring at each other. Namjoon stood up from his seat and walked over to him.

"You know what I what to say. What you did was so bad! We are team!", Namjoon yelled at him.

I wanted to interrupt but Tae held me back. What was going on? Is that normal for them?

"But I am sick of this. This is too much Hyung. We are on our limit. As a leader you should see that", Jimin said now with tears in his eyes.

Namjoon looked conflicted at him and then said: "This is our job. We worked so hard for this. How can you throw away all this? Keep it together and do not bother the staff".

Jimin stood up and was about to storm out of the room but I held him back. Namjoon stood there and said nothing. I did not let go of Jimins arm.

They all felt the same and did understand Jimin I was sure. Jimin was the first one to address this matter. It was written all over their faces.

"Namjoon as a leader you should not let things get out of control. Find a solution and talk about it before the show starts", I said serious. No answer. Jimin was trembling and stormed out of the room. Hobbi, Tae, Jungkook and Jin followed him. I was speechless on the lack of communication between them since the tour started. Usually the talked about their problems and find a solution but this time they were sensitive. Each word, each move, and each mistake caused an argument. Yoongi did not say anything at all and just looked at Namjoon with a soft face.

"Yah Namjoon what was that?", I asked him slightly raising my voice.

He turned to face me and his face was tear stained. He quickly wiped away the tears.

"What? What do you want from me Noona? This does not concern you. Do they all not know that I know that they are tired and exhausted? They all assume that I am ok with all this? We worked for this. We got laughed at, we were broke, and we were not even sure if we ever debut. We finally did and worked more and more. The team, staff, our CEO and our fans rely on us. This job is a dream and an obligation. As a leader I have to take the responsibility for everything and every action. I do what is the best! I AM ALSO TIRED but I need to be the grown up here. But I AM A KID TOO", he yelled at me.

The pressure on him was high I could see it. He hit his limit mentally. It was too much. I walked over to him and he looked at me.

"I get it. I understand it..", I started but got cut off my Namjoon.

"YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS NOONA! NEVER!", he yelled at me.

He was not the Namjoon I knew. People change when the pressure gets too much right? I guess I just experienced that. I could tell that he was not just saying that because he was angry but he was convinced about what he said. He meant it. Each and every single word. Yoongi stood up and was about to say something but I cut him off.