Gold That Appears To Be Silver

Chapter VIII: Playing Roles

~Even though you try to hide yourself from everyone else, it is almost impossible to hide from yourself when you have to live your whole life with the one you ultimately are

My blood minus your blood. Alex and I have spent the entire day talking and watching movies. I eventually decided to sleep over and we ordered some pizza. Her mother called to tell that she wouldn't come home this night and that she would stay at her friend's place.

Alex is already spread out on her enormous bed, yet I am still sitting on the end of it. When her sun has gone down, my moon is just coming up.

I just have a very determined feeling that I have to pay Darwin a visit. Something about him just really reminds me of myself. I need to find out what that is.

After I have made sure that Alex is fast asleep, I walk outside of her room, opening and closing her door carefully.

The corridor is very dark, but I am still able to recognize the fourth door.

It may be very strange to be visiting him at 3 AM, but funnily enough, it feels like a natural thing to do.

I knock on his door and I immediately hear a soft whisper: 'You can come in.'

I open his door, step into his room and close the door.

Darwin is sitting on an office chair, watching me with the green alert eyes of a cat.

I look around me in wonder. There is no empty space on his walls, everything is hung with drawings. All drawings have an odd similarity; they are all people.

I walk around, closer to Darwin. Yet my feet are halting me abruptly when I come eye to eye with the drawing above Darwin's head.

It's Alex, all her beautiful features with the heightened accent of her flawlessness. The rare smile on her face, the smile that I only get to see when she is truly happy. Around Alex, bulbs of energy seem to be surrounding her, the energy feeling like it is truly there, mystery and warmth at the same time.

I narrow my eyes and I can see more depth into those bulbs of energy, identifying the face of a woman, the face of Darwin and a thick book. Above Alex's head is a little blue bird. There is more to it, but I'm distracted when Darwin is scraping his throat.

'How did you draw Alex in that way? It's like it's exactly her but not entirely,' I ask him curiously.

Darwin's green eyes are widening for a second, but they are turning into their previous shape quite fast.

'Why do you think it is different than who she is now?' he asks then, answering my question with a question.

I refrain myself from rolling my eyes.

'She looks more happy. The energy around her seems to be accepted by her. Not only accepted, also put into positivity.'

Darwin nods approvingly. 'She hasn't seen the drawing yet. I'm not the right person to show her. But you, you might be. You're different indeed. Maybe she can finally view herself the way you are viewing her.'

I frown at his words, not quite catching the meaning of them.

I open my mouth to ask him what he means, but he silences me with just one movement with his eyes to mine.

'I'm not the one who is going to answer your questions if those answers aren't mine to give.'

I nod in understanding. 'What if I ask you why you have been so hostile towards Alex while it's clear that you love her?'

Darwin sighs, roaming a hand through his unkept hair.

'Love and hostility are two different things entirely, Jaydee. I love her because I just do. I'm angry at her because of what she has done. I'm not going to say more about it than that. Now that I've answered your question, you'll have to answer mine.'