Petty Interaction (Olli Maatta)

20.

Chapter 20:

My fingers shakily found Olli's contact and hovered over the green telephone icon. What would I say if he answered? What would I do if he didn't? I tapped it quickly before I chickened out and it rang twice before going to his voicemail. He ignored the call. Okay I deserve that. I took a deep breath as his greeting started in English and followed in what I assumed was Finnish. As I heard the familiar beep, I started...

"Hey Olli, well um...I'm sorry for tonight. I just got way to overwhelmed and kinda had a small reality check that I wasn't expecting. Um, the best way to explain it is ...well you know how you're scared I'm just using you for your status...now I'm scared that I am not good enough for you. I'm not from a world of millionaires, models, and athletes. I want to be Alyssa Parker, not just Olli Maatta's girlfriend if that makes sense. Sorry I'm rambling but you mean a lot to me and I can't apologize enough for walking out tonight. I was on the verge of a panic attack and had to get out of that building before I couldn't breath. Geno actually ended up giving me a ride home and well here I am wishing I would have stayed and talked it out with you. But what's done is done. So just promise me you'll kick butt tomorrow in Buffalo and then in Boston. I hope we can talk when you get back..."

I hung up and sighed before walking to my room to grab my charger. I slowly crept over to Jared's room. I cracked the door and saw he was sleeping. I checked it one last time to see a final message from Kris that would at least let me sleep some tonight.

From Kris: He listened to your voicemail and he keeps mumbling how much he fucked up by bringing you into all this too soon. He will talk to you.

To Kris: Thank you for letting me know. I might try to sleep tonight now.

I stepped in quietly before plugging my phone in next to his on the headboard and gently lifted to covers and slipped into the bed beside him.

"Lys?" He asked slightly stirring. I moved closer to him.

"I think I screwed up tonight Jar, but go back to sleep we'll talk in the morning. I just don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course, come here sprite." He said pulling me into his arms. I smiled and cuddled into his side. Thank God for best friends because otherwise, I probably wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon, two of my favorite things. I noted Jared was already out of bed so it was after eight. I reached for my phone and saw no new messages. I wasn't surprised and knew I had to wait for him to come to me. I couldn't push him; not on a game day especially. I put my feet on the floor and grabbed one of Jared's sweatshirts and pulled it over my head. He kept his room a freezer and I don't need it cold so early in the day. I stretched before venturing out to the kitchen.

Jared sat at the bar with coffee and laptop in front of him. I saw a plate in the sink so he had already ate but a skillet with its lid remained on the stove.

"I made some eggs, hash browns, and bacon. I figured you'd need something greasy and comforting since you came in last night. The last time you did that was after..." He trailed off knowing I would not want to talk about my last break up.

"I had a little reality check that lead to a near panic attack. I got overwhelmed and kinda bailed on Olli last night. I fucked up pretty bad." I went on to detail the night from Cathy's trigging words to my slightly dramatic exit.

"If it was too much for you, he needs to consider your side of things. We are not from that kind of world. We're broke college students, not professional athletes or millionaires. However, your relationship can't be a one-way street as far as understanding and communication. He needs to realize you're not using him and you need to realize he cares about you and thinks you are enough for him." I nodded.