Letters to Hae

Chapter 22

 Rachel's POV

What she knew was that she was in the city for two days only. She also knew that he was probably moving on to the next city sooner than her leaving. She was falling for him. But she couldn't tell him. She promised herself that she wouldn't hold him back or cause any unwanted attention from media or fans. But, yes, she was falling for him.

She had decided before she arrived in this unfamiliar city, that she was going to slow things down between her and Hae. She deeply felt that it wasn't fair on him to be distracted by her, and she worried a great deal about people finding out about them both, mainly finding out about her. She didn't want to be subjected to the scrutiny and couldn't allow him to face a such cruel consequence. Rachel made up her mind that she was going to end things on a romantic level with him before they both fell hard for each other.

It was now early hours of the morning but the moon gave her enough time to bring up the subject she had been avoiding since meeting him. Rachel wanted to share with Hae what was inside her heart. He had guessed a few things right last time they met, and tonight was the night she was going to be completely honest with him.

They were in bed, skin to skin, facing each other. They had had a long deep conversation and had both reluctantly agreed to slow things down between them both. She could tell from his eyes, that this conversation gave him sadness. She could tell, that he had withdrawn a little and when she tried to meet his gaze, she found that he would embrace her tightly instead. She hadn't expected an intimate relationship with her 'special someone' and the chance meeting took her by complete surprise. She was mature enough to understand what he did in this life, was far from what she did in her life. Rachel tried to explain to him her dislike of attention and he agreed that going further in this relationship was going to bring massive hurdles and torment. She found herself apologising to him, as she felt guilty for possibly seducing him or tempting him with her letters. He remained silent and still while she spoke. She assured him that her letters were filled with words full of sincere intentions. When she first began writing letter to him, she wanted to share her sense of 'normality' because she sensed that he rarely got to see the world outside of the Super Junior bubble that he had lived in for 18 years. Her hope was that she would share her boring life with him, at the very least, to make him laugh.

Now she was at a cross-road. She searched for his gaze and tried to read him but all she felt was that she had lost him to his thoughts. She sat there facing him, waiting for him to finish processing the conversation that they just finished having. After a long while, he looked up and smiled at her and held her closer to him. His hand was now moving towards her shoulder where his fingers lingered. She stared into his eyes for what seemed like forever and then she smiled.

She wanted to change the mood in the room and began to kiss him softly on his cheek. Her next move caught him by surprise but he liked her position now. Sitting on top of him seemed to have excited Hae, and he began to slide his hands down each side of her and positioned them on her hips and kissed her passionately. She wrapped her legs around his back and they continued kissing and caressing. She felt a little nudge beneath her and she knew he was ready to take her. He held her by her thighs and turned them both to lay flat on the bed, him on top of her. Again, she was going to let him lead. He had entered her hard and she reciprocated all his caresses and all his kisses. She felt a few tears drop on her skin but chose to hold him close instead of exposing his sadness. She took a long time to climax and she sensed that he was also in no rush. Yes, they were both deeply engrossed in their own sadness while passionately making love.

Morning greeted them curled up under the covers. A new day in this room meant parting ways. She let him sleep while she showered and dressed herself. She cleaned a little caution not to wake him. She left a note on her pillow "Gone to fetch coffee for you and chai for me. Maybe some food too. Be back in a few" and quietly closed the hotel door behind her.

Downstairs in the hotel cafe, she ordered a coffee for him and a chai for her. The toasted sandwiches looked inviting and she ordered two serves. While waiting for her order to be made, she noticed Super Junior Leeteuk, Heechul and Yesung placing their own order. She tried to eavesdrop on their conversation but only managed to catch a word or two as they mainly spoke in Korean. Leeteuk caught her staring and smiled in her direction. She returned the gesture and blushed slightly. Rachel's order was now ready for her to collect and once she did so, she avoided eye contact with the Super Junior members and headed back up to her hotel room. She smiled on her way back. "if only they knew..." she said to herself.

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