Affection // irwin

Chapter 6

 I push myself away from him. My arm a bit sore after his grip.

“I’m not going to sleep with you!” I yell so hard my throat hurts.

Everyone goes quiet and turn their eyes to us. I feel rage grow inside me. My legs are slightly shaking, or so it feels. When I look down, they’re standing still. My heart is thumping away like an engine. By yelling at him, I thought he would take a step back, but it has the complete opposite effect.

“Who said anything about sleeping together? I just wanna know you…and feel you” Luke takes a step closer, bites his lip and I feel a hand on my back again as he draws me closer to his face. His breath smells of alcohol, his eyes are red shot. His other hand is slowly stroking my cheek.

“Get away from her! She clearly doesn’t want you.”

Luke is jerked away before I can even progress what is happening. Ashton’s holding Luke by his shirt, his face is red and he’s breathing fast. He looks furious and scared at the same time.

I don’t know what Luke answers or if anyone else breaks the silence, I’m already out the door. Pushing through the crowd, getting words spit in my ear. 

“Bitch.”

“Hey, watch it!”

“Go to hell!”

Yeah, I’ve already been to hell, I might as well go back.

It was a mistake coming here. I felt it earlier that evening, but I thought it would be by people calling me names. This was just as bad.

My hair’s a mess, my clothes tight against my body and I can feel the bitter taste of alcohol in my mouth. I can’t even imagine what was in that drink. Drugs probably, or worse than that. If there is anything worse than drugs.

The clock says 10:45pm when I start the car and make my way home. The road is dark and I barely meet any other cars. I turn off the radio after a song about taking shots, getting drunk and partying all night. Not exactly what I want to hear right now. Besides, I can’t think straight with all the background noise. What am I going to tell my parents? They will definitely know that I’ve tasted alcohol. What if I just held my breath? Would that work? Maybe I can stop by the store to buy some mints or soda. At least I need water to wash it away. I don’t think toothpaste will help.

I keep on driving. Trying to block out my thoughts, and focus on the quietness around me. But all kinds of thought are spinning around in my head. I can’t block them. Had Luke wanted to get inside my pants? What kind of girl does he think I am? I would never sleep with someone I've just met. Let alone someone who scares the shit out of me. And Amy? I thought there was always a nice kid in the family but I guess the Hemmings family is an exception, unless they have more kids. I shudder at the thought. I can’t stop thinking about what she was trying to tell me before Emma dragged me away. That she hadn’t invited me? Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten a shock when I realized who Luke’s sibling were, if she had only finished the damn sentence. But I’m not going to blame Emma. I actually think she saved me. Amy would probably have found a way to make me cry. 

And Ashton, what was that? I can only imagine how pissed Amy must be, after seeing her boyfriend jerk away her brother from another girl. And I hope, for Ashton’s sake, that he comes up with some good lie about it, because I don’t want to come between those two. Ever.

ASHTON POV 

I feel a rush inside me as Luke says he wants to ‘get to know’ Joselyn better.

“I’m not going to sleep with you!” Joselyn yells in his face, but he doesn’t even flinch.

“Who said anything about sleeping together? I just wanna know you…and feel you.”

Luke takes a step closer and puts his hand on her back as he draws her closer to his face. His other hand slowly stroking her cheek. That’s it.

“Get away from her! She clearly doesn’t want you,” I hear myself yell as I grab Luke by his shirt and drag him backwards. He’s much stronger than me and I know how violent he can be so I let him go as soon as I know Joselyn is out if his sight. My blood’s pumping through my body and my fists are clenched. I try to prepare to take Luke’s punch but it never comes. He just looks at me, blinks rapidly and then he…laughs?

“Oh Ash, I knew she meant something to you. I could see it earlier. So tell me, what’s up with you two?” He smirks and I know I’ve got all eyes on me.

I have to come up with something quick. I can’t tell him, or the others, what I feel about Joselyn, since not even I am completely sure about those feelings. And I can definitely not tell Amy. I realized I wasn’t interested in Amy any more, I felt nothing. I never actually felt so much for her but, then came Joselyn and I just knew that whatever Amy and I have, is just childish. It was never real. But I’m not sure what it is with Joselyn either. It is different but so confusing. She has my heart racing one minute and the next it's in complete peace. I want to be near her, all the time. Like, my heart belong where she is. I wonder what she feels, if she feels anything.

I glance over at Amy. I don’t think she noticed the Joselyn scene. I hope not. She had spoken when Joselyn first entered the room but then she kind of dozed off. Now she’s leaning against the couch, her hand on a bottle.

“I didn’t like it. Can we let it go?”

“Didn’t like it? You’ve never stopped me before. Why stop me this time?”

Luke takes a step closer. He’s taller than I am, not by much but I still have to raise my gaze to look into his eyes.

“She’s new and she’s smart. Do you seriously think she would fuck you?”

“Everybody wants to fuck me,” he shrugs.

“I don’t,” Emma says, giving Luke a glance.

“You’re different, Em. I’ve known you since we were 10. Plus you used to date Kyle. And I don’t fuck friends’ exes or girlfriends.”

I see Michael flinching, in the corner of my eye.

We all know Luke hates Michael because of one thing, and one thing only. Over the years the feeling had gotten mutual though. In 8th grade, Luke dated this girl named Tania for about a month. He actually liked her, a lot, which was strange because Luke never dated girls for more than 2 weeks. But one day at a party, Michael and Tania made out, not on purpose, they were both drunk. Luke found out and well, Luke being Luke – he beat up Michael, just because of one single make out section. When I think about it, I would probably have done something like that if I found out someone mad out with my girlfriend. Maybe not beat up, but I would definitely not like that person very much afterwards.

Ever since then, there has been a tension between them. Even if Luke knows about Michael…

Luke is still staring at me but I know he has let it go. For now.

“Whatever. I’m gonna go find some other dumb girl.”

“There’s no one here who wants you. You’ve slept with them all,” Calum says.

“Not the new ones,” he winks at us, receiving a ‘good luck’ from Kyle, before walking out.

I can finally breathe out.