“Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”
“Ugh.”
I open my eyes and see mom standing over me.
“It’s 9.30. Seems like someone had a great night last night.”
She pulls back the curtains, letting the sun light up my room and me put the pillow over my head. Did she just say it’s 9.30? I can’t remember the last time I woke up this late. I peek out from under the pillow to mom who’s now sitting down by my desk. There’s something on her mind.
“What do you want?”
“I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. Out two Fridays in a row. It’s different here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Obviously, we don’t have summer all year around in Canada.
“But we still don’t like that you’re out all night without telling us. It worries me and it worries your father.”
She sent me 12 text messages and called several times last night and I ignored them all. I was busy having a good time and busy listening to the guy I like. Yes, I like Ashton. Very much, and I don’t know what to do. Every time we hang out, someone ends up crying or running away. I’m usually the one doing both of them.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I snap.
“Yes you are, but you…Do you know what went through my mind when I checked your room by 1 and you weren’t here?” She starts fiddling with her ring, like she always does when she’s nervous or mad.
“Mom, I’m here. It’s not going to happen. I promise.”
“You don’t know that. I don’t know that. I didn’t even see it the first time.”
She looks away, hoping I won’t see the tears, but I do. I want give her a hug, hold her tight and tell her not to worry. That’s in the past. I won’t…I can’t even say those words. I’ve changed. I’m not gonna wish to disappear again. Definitely not when Ashton is here. Did I just think about hugging her? I’ve definitely changed.
“You know you can tell me anything, right? I know I wasn’t there before but I am now. I’m all yours.”
She turns her eyes to me again. The tears I observed before are now gone. Just like that. I wish my tears could vanish that fast. Ashton’s tears were heartbreaking. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy cry such silent tears before.
“Thanks mom,” I struggle with the words and by looking at mom’s face expression, I realize I’ve probably never said those words together.
“I love you, honey.”
She stands up, expecting me to return the love, but I don’t. ‘Thanks mom’ is enough for today, so she exits the room, leaving me with my thoughts. And by thoughts, I mean Ashton. Ashton’s taking over my thoughts.
An hour later, I’m running down the street.
‘Til The World Ends’ by Britney Spears, is blasting through my headphones. I haven’t run for 4 days, which is quite abnormal for me, considering I use to run every two days. I haven’t lost my cardio, though. I’m still as fast, a little thanks to the tailwind. I run past Ashton’s building, seeing a few lights in the windows and I wonder if he’s inside. He probably is. He’s definitely awake, unless he’s sleeping in, like me.
When the song changes and ‘Maniac’ from Flashdance comes on, I can’t help but wonder how I look when I run. The song makes me want to dance, but I tell my feet to keep running straight forward. Could people see when the song changes? Because sometimes it did feel like I slowed down when the music would slow down. And I’d run faster with more upbeat songs. Running to ‘Eye of the Tiger’ is probably the worst, making my steps and shoulders synchronize with the beat.
YOU ARE READING
Affection // irwin
Fanfiction"I heard you get butterflies in your stomach when you fall in love, or have a crush on someone. I've never experienced it so I didn't know what it meant, until now. My stomach is fluttering and my heart is not beating at normal rate. How did this h...
