The following hour and a half is the longest hour and a half of my life. It feels as long as the flight here. I just sit by my table and do basically nothing. I don’t read anything, I don’t check my phone. I just sit. Yolanda’s offered me something to drink, something more to eat but I’ve said no all 18 times. I’m not hungry or thirsty, I tell her every time, but she keeps showing up. I tried blocking her out, but not even the earphones worked so I gave up.
Only 5 minutes left until Ashton’s shift is over. I still can’t believe he asked me out for lunch. And I can’t stop wondering if it’s a date or if it’s just two friends going out to eat? I don’t know if I would call him my friend, but he called me his. I don’t know what else he is though. Just some random guy who happens to make my heart beat faster and my world slow down. A guy who actually listens to me and jokes with me, nice jokes. When he asked, I couldn’t think straight. My heart said yes yes yes! But my mind said no. What if Amy calls again? Or what if she shows up? I don’t want to come between those two, because she scares me. And her brother scares me, too. As much as Ashton makes my heart pound, they do too. Only, it’s because of fear.
Ashton comes out of the kitchen, wearing a different shirt than the one he had under the apron. It made me smile when I saw the red and white apron he wore earlier. It made me think about what I told him yesterday, about those being typical pancake colors. How embarrassing. He must think I’m an idiot. ‘Typical pancake colors’. I shake my head.
We walk silent next to each other down the street, till we eventually stop outside a sandwich shop by the end of it and order to-go. Ashton takes the boxes and together we move towards the park across the street.
“We don’t have sandwiches at Sunday’s. I’ve tried to put them on the menu but no one in the staff is on my side,” he says when we finally find a bench that is not yet taken by some family or 40 year old man talking on his phone.
“I’d vote in favor,” I say.
“Why thank you. I’ll tell Yolanda,” his smile widens as he sits down. “Maybe if I get more customers to ask for sandwiches, we can put them on”
“You should do that.”
What am I saying? That’s some lame comment. Make real conversation, Joselyn.
“You like ham and cheese?” Ashton asks, referring to my sandwich.
“Yeah. I know it’s simple but it’s my favorite.”
“Chicken’s mine. I love chicken. Roast chicken, chicken fillet, fried chicken, chicken teriyaki, chicken…”
I laugh, waving my free hand in front of me, trying to get him to stop.
“Hey, I’m not finished. I also like…”
I stare at him I see the dimples appear on his face, telling me he’s only joking.
I take a look around. The bench we’re sitting at is in the park where I always run through when I go out jogging. It’s close to home and a good place to both start and finish the jogging. I see mothers and fathers sitting in the glass, encouraging their kids to play with frying discs and kites. I see a woman out with her dog, pulling her forward making it the dog is out with her. There are other people too sitting on the grass; younger couples, elderly couples, people sitting alone. It’s quite busy considering it’s a Sunday.
“Tell me something more about you,” he says. “Or I can start, if that feels better.”
He must have seen something rush through my eyes. I nod. I don’t know what to tell him. I never do when people ask me to tell them a thing or two about myself. What do they want to hear? My life story? Yeah, I’m not telling people that story. But, I want to tell Ashton. I really do. I want to tell him everything.
YOU ARE READING
Affection // irwin
Fanfiction"I heard you get butterflies in your stomach when you fall in love, or have a crush on someone. I've never experienced it so I didn't know what it meant, until now. My stomach is fluttering and my heart is not beating at normal rate. How did this h...
