Affection // irwin

Chapter 31

 I’m so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I even think of such a thing? Him and me having…No. God no. Not now. Just a little earlier I thought I wasn’t ready but when he was on top of me, I just…I need to stop thinking about it.

I’m still embarrassed when the doorbell rings and Ashton quickly jumps off of me. I hastily make the bed, the cover is a mess and the pillows on the floor. I’m just out of my room when I stop myself in my tracks.

“What’s wrong?”

I hear concern in his voice.

“Nothing,” I lie.

I know I shouldn’t lie, he knows when I do.

“If it’s about your parents, don’t worry. You’ve done very well today. You really shouldn’t worry.”

He puts his arm around me, pulling me closer, and I feel safe again. He just read my mind. Yes, I’m worried about them. I have a big lump in my stomach and I feel nervous. I know nothing will go back to normal. Even though they promised to start over, they won’t. I think they only said that because Ashton was there. But what will happen when Ashton can’t be here? I have to face them alone and that is soon. I don’t want to procrastinate it, even though I always end up doing that.

I hear the front door open. Who the hell rings the bell if they have a key?

“Hello?” Mom calls out.

“We’re up here,” I call back, surprised by my own voice.

“Are you feeling better, honey?”

Mom looks up to see me and Ashton staring back down at her, his arm around me.

I nod.

“That’s great,” her voice is uncertain. “And Ashton?”

“All good, Juliet.”

Since when are they on first name bases?

“Are you staying for dinner?”

I look up to him, pouting. There’s no way I’m eating alone with my parents. In that case, I won’t eat.

“You’re so cute,” he chuckles before raising his voice, his eyes still on me. “Yeah, I can stay.”

“Great! It’s still a little early but I’ll have the dinner ready by 7, when Mark gets home.”

“Do you need any help?” Ashton shouts back, his eyes still on me.

“I think I can manage, but thanks Ashton.”

If I had looked down that very second I would have seen mom smile and shake her head at us. But I don’t see that because all I see is Ashton.

“This is delicious, mom!" 

Adam takes another bite of the fried salmon fillet. He normally doesn’t eat fish. He thinks it tastes the same way the ocean smells, and I agree with him. Salmon, however, is an exception.

“Don’t thank me, thank Ashton,” mom says and smiles at him.

Ashton ended up helping her in the end. He told me he was just going to bring us something to drink but when he didn’t return after 5 minutes, I crept out of my room and heard laughter in the kitchen. I kind of panicked, didn’t know what to do. Should I join them or should I stay here in my room, hoping he’d come back?

After another couple of minutes I decided to spy on them. It didn’t work that well. They heard me and mom embraced me in a hug. If it wasn’t for Ashton removing her from me, she’d suffocate me. That’s how tight she held me. Then she started crying and apologized for being a bad parent and I honestly felt sorry for her. Ashton had to calm her down and it was nice watching. Not my mom’s tears, but him being a gentleman, which made me like him even more.