Affection // irwin

Chapter 23

ASHTON POV 

I hear her whispering my name and a few seconds later, she collapses in my arms. I close the door behind me, lift her up and look around. The room is green, really mint green, her favorite color. One wall is covered in shelves and I see the many books she has. She wasn’t joking about having read everything. The bed, which is huge, is still made and I can’t see any imprint of her laying there. Did she sleep on the floor? There’s a pile of tissues in her trash can and a few half eaten bread pieces next to it. I don’t see any water bottles and I wonder if she’s had anything to drink at all. Her mother told me she would place food outside her room and Joselyn would sometimes take it inside.

‘That’s how we know she’s still alive,’ she told me.

Alive. This girl in my arms is not dead but she’s definitely not alive either. Her body is light and her eyes are closed. Her eyes were red and puffy when she saw me, but there’s no evidence of her ever crying in her face.

I don’t want to sit in her bed, it would be weird, so I slowly bend my knees, careful not to hurt her and sit with my back to her bed. Joselyn’s still in my arms. I can’t let her go. She’ll fall into a pile, she’s lifeless. I tug a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she frowns.

“Joselyn?”

She doesn’t reply, doesn’t even open her eyes. She just keeps frowning. I wonder what she’s thinking of. I wonder how all of this happened. What made her this way? Who would ever do this to her? I will kick his ass. Poor, wonderful, beautiful Joselyn. Tell me, just tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.

Why won’t you talk to me? I can almost feel myself start crying.

“How…”

The word comes out as a whisper and I barely hear it. When I look at her again, her eyes are open. They look tired.

“…did you…”

“How I found out about you?” I quickly ask. I want her to save her voice.

She nods slowly.

“You didn’t respond to any of my messages. I texted you on Monday and sent you messages on Facebook when you didn’t reply by Tuesday. I called you but you wouldn’t answer. I talked with Michael today and he told me he had been to your father’s office this morning. Apparently he was invited in, but your father wasn’t there because of some family emergency. And you were the first one on my mind. I jumped in the car and drove right over. Your mom let me in. She was looking so tired, Joselyn. She told me she had picked you up crying after a class and when you got home, you ran upstairs and they haven’t seen you since. She’s worried about you. You should know that.”

“Did she…say…what…”

“She doesn’t know what happened with you. I don’t want to push you to anything but please, please, tell me Joselyn. Why were you crying?” I take a breath, trying to recall what her mother told me. “I think your mom said something about a blonde guy…”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Luke. It was Luke, wasn’t it?”

I feel all life drain out of me when her eyes widens at the mention of his name. He cannot be the reason why Joselyn’s…no. He would never go this far. Damn it, Luke. Why would he…he told her about Amy. He must have. Fuck Luke. I feel my heart start beating faster and I clench my free fist. I breathe harder.

“Ashton?”

“What?” I ask and look down on her again.

“Amy?” She questions.