Paper Balls | Yoonmin

future

Yoongi's POV

jimin laid playing with my hair. i didn't mind. it seemed to entertain him. for once, our roles had been switched. i was tired and he couldn't sleep.

i honestly didn't want to come back. i wanted to go away and start things over. yes, i'm sick but why should i care? nothing is going to fix it. if anything, trying to be cured has only made my everyday life harder.

with my eyes still closed, i tapped my lips. jimin leaned down and kissed me for a few seconds before returning to playing with my hair.

jimin. he's my reason for everything. my reason for staying. my reason for living. he's so... innocent. he often reminds me that even though things may look bad, there are still good things in this world.

he's a wonderful person. he really is. i've never really explained that before.

jimin thinks very low of himself even if he doesn't talk much about it or show it much anymore.

he's had multiple outbursts on how he thinks he's annoying me with his speech deficit or that i'm only dating him out of pity. it's hard to hear those words come from his mouth knowing they aren't true.

but jimin really is an amazing person. he's smarter than he realizes. he's caring- so quick to jump into the protective mindset much like i do. only i get more physical when it comes to protecting him.

"you're the best, jimin. you know that?" i said quietly, figuring i might see how much i can flatter him before he begins denying things.

my shoulders began conveniently spasming, causing my head and arms to as well.

he said nothing but pushed his forehead against mine, holding the back of my neck. with his other hand, he clutched both of mine, waiting for the moment to end. it always hurts less when he's helping me through them. they end quicker, too.

"thank you." i sighed.

"anything, yoongi." he said, softly sliding his thumb back and forth across my cheek.

his eyes seemed to... how do i say it? sparkle. i looked right back into them. he really does have pretty eyes.

"you know i love you. but i also worry about you. a lot. i'm w-worried about you. i understand those moments as something that c-comes with your sickness but i feel like there's something else bothering you."

"i don't know, jimin." i rolled onto my back, "i have been doing a lot of thinking. we're going to be adults and on our own in just a few months. well, me at least. my foster mom is giving me up after i turn eighteen. i've never even met my real parents. my sister is gone. all of my friends hate me because i'm gay... i don't even know what i want to do, much less what i am doing anymore. i feel so... spaced out. like i've been beginning to lose touch with the things around me. nothing feels... right. it always feels like i'm doing it wrong. my grades have been slipping terribly. my only source of motivation to get up in the morning is you. i'm scared, jimin. i never thought i would admit that but i am. i can't see a future for myself."

"you're okay, yoongi. a lot of people don't known what they are doing for a long time. you'll get it, yoongi. you're young and i know a lot is happening but you don't have to be scared. i'll be right here with you as long as i can." jimin held onto my pointer finger.

i closed my eyes for a second, breathing in the scent of his room. it smelled like him, like cinnamon and flowers. a calming smell.

i nodded, trying to push the thoughts from my head.

i kissed the side of his head, "thank you. try to sleep, jiminie. we've got a test tomorrow."

jimin nodded and got up to turn off the lights. when he got back in bed, i slung my leg over his legs and my arm over his chest, "tired yet?"

jimin lightly chuckled, "t-that's my thing. g-good night, yoongi bear." he reached up to place his hand on my arm. he managed to fall asleep before me.

i rested my head on his shoulder. my hand began to shake and i felt jimin squeze it tighter.

thank goodness for this boy. what would i do without him?

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A/N: Chapter 40 already, wow. I started this in March...right? I think it was March. I love you guys. Thank you for reading and commenting and stuff. You all keep me entertained, I love you guuuyyyys :))))