Paper Balls | Yoonmin

five years pt.1

my first year was very "busy". i don't have many words to describe it. i had one or two days a break very few weeks. i didn't mind it. i grew to love what i was doing.

being back with my sister was great as well. she changed so much since i last saw her- since she up and left the second she turned eighteen.

my second year was the same. i began doing less all over the place work. i was assigned my main job. i was going to he watching children. like a babysitter. i watched the orphans, or the kids who's parents were away or at work. i got to play with them. they were the cutest. they were all so sweet and appreciative.

they reminded me of someone.

someone it pained me to think about.

jimin. they reminded me of jimin. at this point, i haven't seen him or spoken to him in two and a half years. i try not to think about him though it feels like a piece of me is missing.

well, a piece of me is missing.

jimin is was a part of me. he changed me. we changed each other. he is a significant part of my life and vice versa. 

fuck it. i miss him. every night when i'm laying on my cot, unable to sleep, i usually think about him.

i've made a few new friends. it's good to have friends when you are in a place like this.

things got scary during the third year. international tensions were finally let loose and fighting broke out amongst a few of the cities. one of them happened to be the one i was in.

i can clearly remember the voices screaming, the sound of pounding feet, and the gunfire. most of us his for weeks in a basement. there were little rations of food. we were all crammed into a tiny space.

when it finally ended, we were coming close to the beginning of my fourth year abroad.

things finally settled between cities. things begun to get rebuilt. most of it was up to us. the people fed us and made sure we were okay. they stayed so hospitable the whole time.

we rebuilt small homes and shops. we painted, and cleaned, and cleared. me and a few others were able to ciphen help from some of the older kids in our group.

year four came to a close sooner than i would have liked it to. everything went by so fast. each and every day sped by.

i could hardly believe it when my sister began chanting with the others that it was our last year. most of them we're planning on going back into the peace corps.

it was now my fifth year. i am now 23. i don't know what i am going to do once i get home. my sister says i can stay with her and jyung until i get on my feet.

with only a few weeks left. i felt sad. i had grown to love this place. the people. everything about it. i was thinking about rejoining but my sister talked me out of it. her and jyung are not going back so that they can try to build a normal life for thenselves.

i can't imagine what things are going to be like for me when i get back. i feel like i'll work around, save up money. i'll try to move out as soon as i can. i don't want to be a burden to my sister or her fiancé.

maybe i will go back to school. i can go to an online college. or, something like that. my sister says she will help me with that.

"do you have everything?" my sister asked, slinging a bag over her shoulder.

"yep, pretty sure."

we both took one last look around. i took in a deep breath.

"i will genuinely miss this place." i sighed, sitting down to lace my boots.

"yeah, i will, too. you've got your passport on you? they're going to ask for it many times throughout the trip so i just want you to have it on you constantly."

"yeah, yeah. i know. i have it on me." i laughed at how protective my sister was being over me in the last few weeks. something in her seemed to change.

we drove for a few hours before we reached the tiny airport. we were loaded onto the small plane quickly.

the flight would take hours. so, i decided to sleep. the plane seats were comfortable despite what i had grown used to while in mongolia.

before i knew it, i was being shaken awake. my sister smiled in my face, "we're home, little bro."

a part of me still remembered park jimin's promise all those years ago. five years since i've seen him or talked to him.

these fives years passed so fast. i can barely believe they are actually over.

i doubted he held up to his word. five years is a long time to wait. and plus, he probably forgot the date. he never was good with remembering dates.

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