Giving up on you

XII

- Hongbin is awake...

The cigarrte fell from his hand as his fingers lost all their strenght

- R..really? - Leo mumbled, he wanted to walk but it was like his legs wouldn't answer/

- Hyung! hurry up! - the blonde boy shouted desesperately taking Leo out of his shocked state.

You were in your office filling up a report when a fresh breeze entered the room and flew some pictures from the board; they showed you, Leo and Hongbin smiling and wearing your high school uniform...

"I'ts been years since Hongbin dissapeared, and that Leo never showed up again, why don't you just let them go?" Hakyeon had said to you one year ago"

"I'm sure Hongbin can't contact me, something must have happened to him and about Leo... I don't want to talk about him"

And now, after watching the news last night, you felt like it was worth giving it a last try.

You finished writting your report and headed out to your hometown to meet up with Ken. It was really hard to convince him, but he accepted as long as you didn't ask more than he was willing to answer.

It was past 6:00 pm when you arrived at the coffee shop and saw him sitting on the corner of the place, he looked almost the same as before except for his really obvious weight loss and dark circles under his eyes. Long story-short: you caught on what you've been doing all these years, he endep dating tha blonde girl that almost slept with Leo and was now his fiancee.

You told him you were looking for Hongbin and it was like his whole body went stiff, his eyes darted away from.

- I know you know something... - actually, you didnt but it was a set up.

He entwined his fingers in a self-protective way and sighed befire returning his sight.

- what do you want to know?

- everything. - you hold your tone and gaze as still as possible to obligate him to tell you the truth.

- I can't tell you everything - he answered with a monotone voice - but let me asure you something: Hongbin is not okay,

Your limbs went numb, gladly you were seated or you would have fell on the hard floor

- w.. wha.. what...what do you mean? - you stuttered.

Ken looked at you with a pained expression.

- he was in an accident, that's all I know, I'm not sure if he survived or not.. - he let out a long sigh - Leo knew about it, he told me not to mention it to you, but I think it's about time you know.

- wait! what?!

- I'm sorry - you were getting fed up with his regretful face.

You remembered everything and everywhere you had been seaching and looking through the past years

- But they never found his body, right?!

Ken nodded.

- so that means... he might be alive!

Leo and Hyuk were running in the icy weather, some of their steps sank in the pilled snow

- why didn't you bring your car!? - leo growled at Hyuk

- it's faster this way! there's a lot of traffic!

- smart kid!

- im not a kid I'm 20 now! - he pouted.

Leo recalled the first day he saw Hyuk and realized he had really changed from that innocent looking boy to a taller young man. if it wasn't for him, he (Leo) would have never found Hongbin.

- he is shocked ...

Leo was forced out of his thoughts

- what do you mean?

- he woke up screaming for his dad and some stupid nurse told him about the situation... we fired him. They should be running some tests by now and after that an interrogatory...

They arrived to the now familiar alley that led to the hidden clinic. As Leo became a regular visitor, Kan started to reduce his inspection on him, and even talked to him from time to time.

Hyuk opened the door but Leo stayed outside hiding himself behind the wall but he could hear everything clearly.

- Hongbin, I'm back - he spoke in a soft tone that warned Leo about how bad was Hongbin state - have you eaten yet?

But there was no answer, instead Leo finally noticed Hongbin was sobbing. He gulped to prevent a lump to form in his throat and gathered all the strenght he could to lean out to take a glimpse at his friend.

The scene was disastrous: his messed up long hair was not enough to cover his now flimsy face that was leaned looking to the floor, his fist grabbing the white sheets tightly.

- Hongbin... - he let out in sigh but that was enough to make your friend turn around towards the door.

-L...Leo... - Hongbin's eyes snapped open as if he had seen a ghost, his eyes had a reddish tone and little drops could be seen in the corner of his eyes before he wiped them away with his forearm. His voice was hoarse, dried up throat after too much time without talking.

Hyuk started to panic as Leo didn't try to hide.

-hey... - Leo finally discovered himself and stepped into the room. Poker face on. - how are you feeling?. - he kept his voice as neutral as he could.

Hongbin didn't answer and just kept staring at him with a mix of emotions that included: hatred, sadness, pain, regret but deep inside there was a small sign of relief. Hyuk's gaze went to him and then back to Leo in a nervous speed but there was a silent dialogue going on between them, only they could understand what was happening. Hongbin wanted to ask about his mother but it was pointless because he was completely sure she was responsible for his father death. Then images of the last day he saw you crossed before his eyes.

- where is she? - he finally asked.

The room fell silent for a long moment.

Leo had been meditating about this moment during the past years, about how he was going to answer that question but now that it had come to that his mind went blank, lots of words rushing through his mind. Leaving him no other choice than the simplest reply, yet it was the truth:

- I don't know, never saw her again after school.

Hongbin's lips parted attempting to form a smile.

- I don't believe you - brushed his hair back off his face

- believe or not, it's up to you.

Hongbin sighed and looked away.

- get out... - his voice was firm and so full of anger that his jaw tensed to prevent him from shouting.

Leo was taken aback but still tuned back to the door and walked out.

- I will find her...

Leo looked back at him from the corner of his eyes.

- I will find her - Hongbin said but still didn't look at him.

- I know you will