Giving up on you

XIX

You glared at him, trying to hold back the tears that obviously were about to fall from your eyes. He looked to you and then looked away ashamed of himself.

- _______ … - Hongbin’s mother broke the silence – I’m so embarrassed you had to find it this way… but you know… it’s a thing between adults – she didn’t even try to hide her cynical tone.

You turned to her with a bitter grin on your face.

- Does Hongbin know about it? – you clenched your jaw and fist but none of them answered so you assumed it was the case - … I see.

You started to join the dots in your mind, everything made sense know. Hongbin’s family breaking apart and Leo tried to find him, it was out of guilt.

- Leo and I … - the woman tried to speak again but you raised your hand to shut her up.

- I don’t want to know anything else; you both disgust me too much.

 You walked as fast as your weakened feet allowed you to; without looking behind. But for some reason, in the deepest part of your heart you expected Leo to shout your name out or that he’d ran after you.

That never happened.

Instead, you ran into Hongbin, who was on his way to your home.

- Hey,_______! – he had to stood up in front on you to stop you, because you kept your head down.

You didn’t want to lift up your face because he would find out you were crying. But knowing you as he did, he could tell in an instant so he took your chin with his hand and made you look at him.

- Who made you cry? – he asked, his voice was deeper than usual.

You denied shaking your head.

- Tell me – he commanded; your body flinched at his aggressive tone.

Hyuk stayed apart to give you two some privacy but that allowed him to see something neither of you saw: Leo and the woman getting together in a car. Being smart as he was, it took him a second to realize the reason behind your tears. He sighed and whistle to Hongbin.

- Look – the boy pointed at the car that was already passing by next to you.

Hongbin’s eyes doubled their size and took your head to his chest to prevent you from looking at them. Or specially: him. Leo looked out through the car’s window and had the same reaction as his friend for an instant before changing it to a face full of sorrow.

Hongbin could swear that Leo seemed like he wanted to cry when he just nodded at him and averted his eyes from you and him. That way, he understood Leo was giving you up to him.

- Hongbin, I can’t breathe!! – you yelled pushing him away.

- Oh, sorry – he said redirecting his gaze towards you. He didn’t realize he was holding you a little too thigh against him out of anger.

The tears had stopped and you finally lifted you head up, regaining all the courage you had to look him in the eye. After all, his friend and his mother were involved in this; you were in no position to cry about it.

- I’m sorry, Hongbin… I knew nothing and yet… I tried to make everything as it was before… I was so selfish.

He contemplated your face for some seconds until the corner of his lips curved up in a weak grin.

- You have no fault on it, okay?... As you said, you knew nothing.

- I’m sorry

- Stop apologizing. It’s not even Leo’s fault.