The Perfect Boy in the Shadows

Chapter 24, Here I Am

-Will-

Okay... I know what you're probably thinking. That my kiss for Grayson was way too sudden and uncalled for? Yeah, I get where you're coming from. But truly, you'll understand why soon. Not that I shouldn't have waited anyway... but yeah.

Last year, I told my mom I was developing feelings for boys, and that I didn't know what was happening to me. My mom had an emotional breakdown and told me how kids would bully me, but that there were other kids like me. Then she decided to homeschool me for 8th grade so that I wouldn't get hurt at the public school I went to. I thought her choice was rather extreme, but I went along with it anyway to make her happy. Later that week, mom asked me if I wanted to switch my gender, but I quickly declined. Not to be sexist, but I would never consider myself girl-ish. I was never one to love the color pink or play with dolls or whatever. I loved to skateboard and do boy things, just not as much as some guys I know. Although this may seem weird, I have a real passion for art. When I was little, I'd always ask for more art supplies so I could make more pictures to hang up on my wall. Which may seem like a girly thing too, but my pictures had nothing girl-ish about them. 

Anyways, during this past year... I've been bored out of my mind. I haven't seen most of my friends in months and I was really lacking social contact. Soon, I started to reach out to other people around the neighborhood, but one always caught my attention... Grayson. And this may sound weird, but I actually used to take walks around the neighborhood just so I could see him. I'd often stare up at his window, watching him read his books in his room. We used to play together all the time when we were kids, but I never felt that spark until now. I remember crying in my room when that girl named Lily kept stopping by his house... I was almost positive he could never be gay in those moments. Thankfully... I was wrong. 

As I was walking by his house yesterday, I saw his parents pull into their driveway, and I couldn't help overhearing their loud conversation. All I heard were the words Grayson, hurt, and serious injury. As soon as I put those words together, I took off running. Grayson couldn't just leave this Earth without me telling him how I felt. Even if he wasn't gay, I could take the pain of rejection. But I just knew I couldn't take the pain of something that could have been. What would I have done? Grayson couldn't be hurt... not my Grayson. 

So... yes, when I got there and found out he wasn't dying and was gay like me, something just came over me that I couldn't hold back. That... I didn't want to hold back. Hopefully, he doesn't see me as a creep now, but I think we're all good. We talked for a long time, and he says he wants to give us a try, but he wants to take it slow. And I was okay with that because I was okay with waiting... as long as I'd have him in the end. I have a feeling it'll be a long time until I kiss him again, but I knew we would do it at some point. Thank god I found someone who finally wanted me, who I could finally love.