Chapter 19: Pain's My Best Friend

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Yo, its been a while since we've updated... like we didn't even realize how long...ha. Thanks for the support you've given us though. 

Disclaimer: Xanxus666 and I still haven't won the rights over KHR, so none of it belongs to us except for like the plot.

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He ran. Ran and ran and ran. Where? He ran to wherever his feet carried him. Not caring about the place he'd end up in, not caring about anything but forgetting.

Forgetting the words spoken by a random girl that lay heavily on his heart. Forgetting about those he happens upon that fill him with a strange but welcomed warmth. Forgetting about the man hired by his useless sperm donor who triggered memories he wished were merely nightmares. Forgetting about the wretched yakuza he hated with his entire existence, yet... Yet he couldn't leave, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

His surroundings changed. Trees that towered over him, that made it seem as if he were nothing but an insignificant speck. Stopping, he tried to even his breathing. 'Breathe in and breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. In! Out! Can't-'

His blood was roaring in his ears, his heart pounding, his hands clenching so much that his nails dug into his palm. With an ear-piercing shriek, he punched the tree. Once, twice, however many times necessary to distract him from-

"A pathetic waste of space-"

He punched harder, faster, ignoring how the bark of the tree bit painfully into hands. How the skin on his knuckles was slowly and teasingly scrapped off. How his own blood swiftly covered the entirety of his hands and stained the tree a lovely shade of red.

He continued, enjoying the pain and the way it made everything else disappear. How he could easily-

"Oh Tsu-kun. Are you okay? Mama-"

"NO! STOP! SHUT UP!" Tsuna snarled. He began punching wildly, adding kicks here and there for the hell of it. Subconsciously, he was aware that what he was doing was not helping him. It was going to leave some nasty bruises, among other things, but he never claimed to be smart.

"So, what if I did. A weakling like you-"

"Okaa-san! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He fell to his knees, sobs wracking his small frame. With trembling hands, he gripped his head harshly, desperate to-

"...because of your selfishness-"

Tsuna curled up on the floor, taking deep shuddering breaths in a vain attempt to calm down. Squeezing his eyes shut tight, he uselessly hoped it'd help push his memories to the deepest part of his mind. Where he never had to suffer through them again.

"STOP! Dammit! Please. Leave me alone. I..."

Tears poured down his cheeks like a never-ending waterfall. At this moment he hated himself more he's ever had, more than anyone else he's ever known. More than those assholes who dared to kill his precious mother.

It should've been him who died. Stupid, worthless Dame-Tsuna. Not his mother. Never his mother. His kindhearted mother who was way too loyal and loving to her wayward husband and her good-for-nothing son.

'Look at me. Having a mental breakdown because of what, a couple of words a random chick said. Truly, how pathetic can I get.'

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It was a pain opening his eyes. They were crusty and puffy. And most likely red, giving him a drugged-recently-had-a-bad-break-up appearance. Basically, he looked ugly as hell and he knew it.

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