A Couple Steps Back

Chapter 57

Third person pov

Rasa wasn't surprised they were attacked on their way back to Suna. Not only was Rasa himself, a Kazekage, traveling out in the open, but he had his demon-container son with him too. If that wasn't a steal, Rasa didn't know what was. Plus, they'd get some hella rad wheeled shoes if they won. Not that they ever would. That didn't change the fact that these shoes would have to be pulled from his cold dead body if they expected to get them.

"First Obito, and now this." Gaara grumbled. "Trouble seems to follow wherever Naruto goes."

"But he's not here." Rasa blinked. Gaara raised an eyebrow, looking behind them at the clone that had been following after them for the past three hours. It hadn't exactly been quiet, either. It had tripped several times, and stepped on more twigs than Gaara could count. Even once they hit the sand of the desert Suna resided in, he still managed to make large cracking sounds as though he were stepping on dry leaves or acorn shells.

"Shit what the fuck-" Rasa stumbled back, almost getting stabbed by one of the enemy ninja who'd been awkwardly standing by, unsure of what to do. They'd already taken out the ANBU around two miles ago, but apparently the Kazekage and his son hadn't noticed. Nor had that weird blonde brat, who was apparently a weird clone, that had been following them since they departed Konoha.

"I'll take care of it. You guys go on ahead." Naruto said. "I owe Gaara a favor anyway."

"From when?" Gaara scoffed. Rasa looked between them. He wanted a friend. Where could he get one? Baki wasn't cool enough to be accepted into the friend group. He needed a time traveler friend... like Orochimaru. Orochimaru baked casserole and was a mother. Rasa could be the father. It was perfect! 

"Uh, from some time that you did some sand thing and probably saved my fucking ass, that's when." Naruto scoffed, shrugged, and then turned to the people who'd someone managed to not get discovered by Rasa. "Square up, cuz."

"Please give me your autograph." Naruto was such an icon, Rasa couldn't even lie.

"Bye." Gaara grabbed his father, dragging him off.

~

It took them a while to get to the bar, but when they did, it was clear something was going on.

"Shisui, what happened?" Naruto hopped off the bed as they skidded to a stop. Shisui stood outside, wrapped in some sort of weird felt trauma blanket. Not only that, but he was surrounded by hookers, cross dressers and LGBTQ supporters or members. A man in a tight pink woman's dress sporting a blonde wig shushed him as he shook, patting his back.

"That wasn't Itachi." Shisui looked up, looking as though he'd seen a ghost. "It was a rapist."

"Oh my fucking God." Tsunade threw her hands up in the air. "We had Obito, and we lost him. We lost him! He was here, tied up in this bar, throat ripe for slitting, and he just got away. You guys are all weak sauce. You fucking idiots. And you wonder why we're all going to die!" Tsunade said as Shikamaru buried his face in his hands. Hidan patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Rapist, and you immediately assume it's Obito." Jiraiya shook his head as though maybe he was disappointed or something. "Itachi died young. We don't know what kind of fetishes he had. What kind of guy he was."

"He seemed pretty chill to me. To Sasuke, too. Accuse his brother of being a rapist and see what happens. I'm sure it would make for a great story." Kakashi said, not looking away from his beloved porn. The bar was on fire, and raging gays seemed to scout the area. You could tell by the bracelets they sported. They were different colors for different sexualities and genders. It was effective. Also terrifying in some odd sort of way.

"What the fuck do we do now?" Hidan asked. He really was at a loss here. If Obito was gone, what the fuck could they honestly do? As far as he knew, they'd couldn't do fuck shit. Not without a lead, or without knowing where Obito was going. 

"Die?" Shisui suggested, his voice Hollow. Naruto smacked his leg.

"Hospital. He probably knows that's where we were." Shikamaru muttered, still in distress. Tsunade groaned. Of course she'd have to push the fatasses all the damn way back to the hospital because they were too damn lazy to walk. She understood the guy who'd been stabbed. You get stabbed, you get a wheeled bed. These fucking idiots were just too damn cool for walking, apparently.

"You know, why didn't we just teleport?" Kakashi asked, flipping a page in his porn. "Sure would have saved us a lot of time." 

Shikamaru screamed.

~

"Where the fuck are we?" Orochimaru whispered.

"I don't know... is that Obito?" Sasuke squinted. "Fuck, look. He looks scared or something."

Orochimaru paused, looking down at Sasuke. "....Kill him-"