I Do. (August Alsina)

I Do, 26

[Y'all I'm in love with August's laugh. I was dead watching the video. And the way he said "gawd damn" before he started laughing it just so sexy. Y'all gotta understand Aug is my husband for real! Lol.]

Sarah Marshall.

As soon as we got back to the hotel I immediately decided a shower was what I needed. While I got myself together for the shower, August and Christian thought it would be nice to have a little boys night.

To be honest, I had absolutely no problem with that. Being that I needed a little time to myself.

I was hurt that my father had no love for me. It's not like I chose to stay with Raymond. I was held against my will and with everything that happened to me, it's not like I was able to just get up and walk out the front door.

If I can be honest, I do want a redo on the conversation with my father. For five years, he was inactive in my life and my child's life. There were countless times where I cried myself to sleep because I felt abandoned by my parents. A time when I needed them the most, they handed me over to my aunt, who told me I had to leave when Christian was born.

Honestly, who did I have? Who do I have right now that's willing to love, trust, and be honest with me?

I'm a bruised and damaged individual. Who wants that? No one. I don't even know why August stays and rocks so hard for me. He was just so perfect and I'm really not anything.

"Aye, can I come in?" August asked knocking on the door.

I twisted my lips unsure because the shower curtain was see through. "I-I yeah, sure."

I seen his tall figure walk in. "You good?"

I didn't want to lie. If I said yeah, my face would give it away that I'm not. I'm not good. I'm not okay. In fact, I'm really really upset.

"No." I mumbled.

"Hol' on." He walked out the bathroom as wet my hair, applying shampoo on to my hair.

After massaging the Shea Moisture shampoo into my scalp, I turn around to find August behind me with some Calvin Klein briefs on. I step back away from him, covering my exposed body.

"Come hea'." He said biting his bottom lip.

"Why you in here? Where's Christian? Is he okay?" I asked.

"He sleep, baybeh, na come hea." He said sternly. I took a small step closer to him being cautious.

I was fully naked. I didn't want August to get any ideas from this. I was allowing him in the shower with me because I needed him. I needed to be hug, I needed reassurance that he was going to stay with me and that if I needed him, he wouldn't abandon me.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I don't know what I did for them to just hate me. I didn't purposely get pregnant by Raymond. This is suppose to be the other way around. I'm suppose to hate them for so many reasons I can name and they're suppose to be willing to accept their faults and wrongs and yet, they don't. It's somehow my fault I was raped. My fault I wanted and needed to keep my child, my fault I was shipped to Atlanta, my fault I'm so messed up in the head. Everything is my fault." I sobbed.

August wrapped his arms around me, whispering things in my ear to calm me down.

"I know it's not my fault, but constantly hearing it it feels like it's my fault. I could've prevented so much stuff and I didn't."

"It ain' yo fault, baybeh. It's dey fault. It's dat nigga fault fa doin you dirty outchea and being a fuckin pussy. It's yo punk ass parents fault fa not being thea when you needed them. If I would've known what was said or done, I'd go in all they shits. Yo momma too fa not sticking up fa you. Yo dad out this bitch threatening you and she ain' said shit. She scared of yo daddy. If you want me to, I'll go with you tomorrow to straighten this shit out. You ma lady and ain' no nigga or bitch gon touch, talk, or breathe on you unless I'm in thea." He said kissing my lips.

I relaxed in his arms, still crying. August was really my knight in shining armor. He was always there for me. Even when he didn't know me or what I was about he was literally always there.

I sighed in his chest covering my face. "Why do you rock with me so hard? Like," I sniffed wiping my tears angrily. "I can't offer you anything. What do I do to you to make you want to stay connected with me? I'm nothing."

"Shut the fuck up." I quickly shut my mouth and stared up at him. "Fuck what yo parents don' put inside ya head, you are somethin. I fucks with you because you ain' fuckin with me fa ma' money, fa fame or none of dat stupid, materialistic shit. And I can vibe witchu on some real shit. Me and you don' had some real ass conversation and I can't get dat shit with othas. I told you befo, I gotchu. You mine and every doubt you got in ya head about yaself, I'm gon' shut dat shit down, you don't gotta be somethin ta everybody, but you somethin ta me and lil man out thea."

I leaned into his chest, silently crying. "I-I love you August."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him. "I luh you too."

We didn't need sex or even just kissing to be intimate. This feeling right here was intimate enough. Picking at each other brain and reassuring each other that love is there and will always be there. I don't think I can have this feeling with anyone else other than August. It wasn't about sex to him. The fact he was able to stand in the shower while I'm fully naked and not try anything is amazing.

I don't think peter would have any type of self control.

"You good?" He asked kissing my forehead.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. Thank you for checking up on me."

"I'm gon always do dat. If I'm straight, you straight. I'm cool, you cool. You ma baybeh, I gotta take care of you." He smiled, kissing my lips now.

I kissed back wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Let's hurry up and get out before Christian wakes up." I said pulling away.

"Aight." He mumbled cupping my butt in his hand.

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