Hidden || MYG

11

15th of September, 2018

"I wasn't even that drunk last Christmas," Taehyung protested.

Jungkook snorted. "Hyung, you petted Jin's sugarglider and yelled 'THIS LION IS SMALL AND CUTE'."

Taehyung threw his arms in the air. "Yes. Maybe because it's orange!"

Jin rolled his eyes. "It's gray."

They all broke into fits of laughter, everyone except Taehyung who grunted and muttered under his breath with his arms crossed, and except me, who had no idea of the events of last Christmas. Or the one before. Or the one before.

I looked around the table, my gaze falling on each familiar face for a second, before it stopped. There were six chairs, and six of us. We never were six.

"Where's Jimin?" My raspy voice cut through the noise. It was probably the alcohol kicking in that made my throat dry.

The laughter died down, and five pairs of eyes were looking at me. Silence occupied the place. I scanned them with lazy eyes, noticing the hesitant, sad, pitiful looks they were giving me.

I sat with my arms crossed, waiting for an answer. Was he busy? Was he overboard? Does he have a family now? I couldn't know anyway; I couldn't remember.

"He's sick."

"He's dㅡ"

"He's busy."

Voices cut through another, and I still had the unamused expression on my face. They threw glances towards each other, except Taehyung who was looking down at his hands that were settled on his lap. I would say he was drunk, but he hadn't even touched his glass.

Silent words were thrown all over the table, and I could feel the tension rising by each second, the atmosphere darkening by each breath and my thoughts wandering to places I don't want them to by each blink.

"Where's Jimin?" I asked again, my voice stricter, louder.

"He's busy," Namjoon started. "He's in Busan currently with his parents becauㅡ"

"Where the f*ck is Jimin?" I asked through gritted teeth. I looked at Jungkook.

"Jungkook, tell me where Jimin is," I ordered to which he shook his head.

"He's dead," Taehyung said, looking up to lock his eyes with mine. "He died a year ago, and I wasn't expecting you to remember anyway. You never do."

"Taehyung," Hoseok warned, his voice thick.

Namjoon put a hand on my shoulder. "Yoongi, it's okay if you donㅡ"

I slammed my hand on the table, the bottles and glasses clinked as everyone and everything fell silent. People turned to look at us, eyeing us weirdly before looking away.

"And how... how many times have I asked you?"

"How many times do you think you asked us?"

"Taehyung!" Jin yelled and Taehyung looked down, his jaw clenching. Jungkook had his hoodie pulled over his head which was hung low, and I knew it was because he couldn't hold in his tears anymore.

I couldn't even blame Taehyung. I wasn't even mad at him. I know how close he and Jimin were, and I knew he'd be the most affected by his death.

And I knew I was a pain the ass. I probably asked the same question everytime we went out and tried to have a good time together.

"I'm sorry." I stood up and walked away. Namjoon grabbed my wrist but I yanked my arm away and walked out. I heard a few voices calling my name and I chose to ignore them. I headed back home.

"Oh, you're back. Did youㅡ"

Su stopped when I passed by her and went straight to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I ran over to my desk and started rummaging through the papers and sticky notes.

All the useless stuff.

I grabbed a pen and pulled up my sleeve. I put it in my mouth and pulled it, leaving the cap between my teeth as I jotted down on my pale arm.

Jimin is dead. Never ask the others about it. He's f*cking dead.