Hidden || MYG

18

13th of November, 2018

"Why did you do that?"

Seokjin stood infront of me, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes looked down at me, slightly squinted, holding a firm gaze.

I sat on the couch silently, then slowly looked up at him. He was mad, I saw, but at the same time, his dark eyes held some kind of sympathy, some kind of warmth that let me know he'd understand whatever reason I had.

I shrugged, letting out my tongue to lick my chapped lips, wetting them.

It had been a few minutes since the firemen had left. The fire wasn't big, and it stayed inside the bathroom. It was easy to put off. Jin had dusted away the ashes and cleaned my bedroom.

After he was done, he came to the living room where I was sitting, staring into blank space.

He sighed, uncrossing his arms to let one hand rub the bridge of his nose. He proceeded to sit beside me, and rested his arms on his knees.

"You don't know why you did it?" He spoke in a firm low tone.

"No idea," I said.

"You were just sitting then bam, you started a fire in your bathroom?"

I nodded. "Bam."

"Bam," He repeated in a whisper.

I leant back, my eyes looking up at the ceiling with my lips slightly parted.

"You burned a lot," He blurted out. "Photos and tapes, notes and papers. Your journal."

"I know," I paused. "It doesn't matter to me anymore."

"What about when you wake up tomorrow?"

I shrugged for the nth time. "Don't know. Will probably stay confused all day long."

He shook his head. "You shouldn't stay like that."

"Why? You don't even know what it's like"

Silence followed, and I shut my eyes tightly. I'm stupid. I opened them again, and continued to look up. I could hear his steady breaths that sounded more like continuous sighs to me.

"Sorry," He muttered.

"It's tiring when I remember," I started. "I feel confused and just... tired. Maybe if I don't know, if I live in oblivion, it would be better?"

"You'll find out at the end of the day anyway, and then you'll feel even more confused, maybe even regretful. More tired," He said.

"I don't know," He quickly added. "Honestly, I have no idea what it's like. Do whatever makes you comfortable, and know that I'm always here for you."

I let out a breath, and shut my eyes again.

If I had just died in that accident.