Hidden || MYG

14

22nd of October, 2018

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I tilted my head, taking in the reflection of myself. My silver hair. My gaze landed on my bloodshot eyes, then on my chapped lips, and then it slowly went down to my pale arms that were holding me up.

I looked down at my hands, and sighed when I saw the dried blood and small bruises that lined my fingernails and up to my knuckles. I hadn't stopped my habit of biting my nails.

Three years.

Three years had passed, and I know nothing about them.

I shook my thoughts away and walked out of the bathroom and to the living room. I froze at the sight in front of me.

Holly was curled up on the couch, his eyes were shut as his small body heaved up and down in shallow breaths.

I walked towards him and knelt down on the floor, placing my hand on his head to pet him.

"Holly," I called, flinching at my own voice. I never heard it this hoarse. "Are you okay?"

He opened his eyes slowly, looking up at me and my heart accelerated at how red and glossy his eyes were.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?" I inched closer and leant in.

"Yoongi?"

I whipped my head around to face my so-called girlfriend.

"What's going on?" She asked.

I stayed silent, contemplating wether I should tell her or not. She's my girlfriend, and she's been living with me for a long time. But I don't know her.

"Holly," I started. "I think he's not okay. Maybe we should take him to the vet."

Su walked closer and knelt beside me, scanning my puppy with her eyes.

"He doesn't look okay." She reached out a hand to touch him, and I instinctively slapped it away.

She looked at me for a moment, then silently retreated her hand, settling it on her lap.

I stood up and walked towards the front door to put on my sneakers before I walked back to where Holly was and picked him up slowly. I wrapped him up in his baby blue blanket and unlocked the front door, stopping to look at Su.

"Are you coming or not?" I asked.

She looked up at me then hastily nodded.

To say that I was worried about Holly was an understatement. I was frightened, even though I didn't want to admit it.

I sat in the passenger's seat as I gently caressed him who was seated on my lap. I closed my eyes and leant my head back, letting out a breath.

I knew. If something happened to Holly, I'd be a wreck. And I should've been prepared to listen to those words.

"I'm sorry. There's nothing we could do. His time has come."

So there I was, laying on my bed with Holly right beside me. I refused to let him go. He was still alive, still breathing, and his eyes were in mine.

"I'm sorry," I breathed out as I gently stroked his ears, not even sure why I was apologizing.

His eyes finally shut close, and his body stopped moving, just like my hand, and my heart.

"Holly?" I called out.

Nothing.

"You're not supposed to go now," My voice lowered. "Not when I need you the most."

Silence fell, and I could only hear the sound of my breaths. Maybe I had still been in denial, because my hand continued moving over his soft fur.

Maybe he would open his eyes any moment now and I'd play with him.

Maybe my touch would bring him back.

I hadn't realized it until I felt the warm translucent liquid escaping my eyes and wetting my pillow.

Saying farewell isn't sad. It's the aftermath of it.