DBH Memefics (And more)

A Briefing: With Hank And Connor (And Others)

Another piece of randomnesss i made for your entertainment, multiple memes incoming.

Another sunny day in Detroit. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, people like Gavin, should be burning in hell. Fowler ordered a some sort of briefing at the Police Department today to talk about some sh*t that no one ever actually listens to. Everyone stood around the room, Connor stood in the front row (Cause Connor is a good boi and good bois stay up front.) while Gavin was two rows behind him, constantly throwing paper at him. Hank was drinking beer to numb the stupidity that he's probably catching just from being present. Captain Allen wanted to join in but Hank growled ever time he put his hand near the bottle. Collins and Richard are also there.

Fowler: Ok! Role call! Captain All-In?

There was silence.

Fowler: Is Captain All-In here?

Allen: Uh...here..?

Fowler: Gave-In?

Gavin: Why did you-

Fowler: Because no one likes you. Any questions?

Gavin: Uh...I-

Fowler: Good. Colons? Is where is Been Colons?

Ben: It's Collins, but that's not how you say it.

Fowler: I'll say it however the f**k I wanna say it! Now, Rick-hard? Where is Rick-Hard at?

Richard: Uh..my name is Richard.

Fowler: SON OF A B**CH! -Throws a chair across the room- YOU DONE MESSED UP, RICK-HARD!

Connor: Oh my god, a chair!

-1 hour of harsh bickering later-

Richard is shocked and appalled at his boss's words; debating whether to pull a Gavin and run away crying, while Collins tries comfort him. Hank takes a shot of whiskey in hopes of forgetting what he just heard.

Fowler: Now, Con-Or?

Connor: -Raises hand- Pre-sent.

Fowler: Good. Now, everybody comfortable?

Connor: Yes sir! -Is hit with another paper- Ow...

Fowler: Sit yo mutha-f**kin asses down when I'm talking!

Everyone quickly sat their mutha-f**king asses down.

Fowler: Now today, you are here to learn about-

Gavin: Dat p**say!

Fowler: Dammit Gavin! Shut up!

Gavin: -Snickers-

Connor: What's a p**say? -Is hit with another paper- Ow...

Hank: You'll learn when you're older. (But isn't he...nevermind.)

Fowler: As I was saying, we are here today to learn how to properly go undercover in a deviant filled area, while not getting your asses ripped off. You are here simply because ya'll look young and lifeless. You some Arnold Schwarzenegger, I-Robot lookin mutha-f**kas.

Connor: What's I-Robot? -Is hit again- Ow...

Hank: You'll learn when you're older.

Fowler: Now, I know what ya'll thinking.

Gavin: Bout dat p**say!

Fowler: Dammit Gave-In! Get out!

Gavin: -Scurries out the room-

He's probably gonna come back later just to mess with Connor cause he just can't help himself when it comes to-

(Gavin: Dat d*ck!)

(Dammit Gavin! Get out of the author's dialog!)

Fowler: You think I'm just another angry, black boss. But that ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype.

Allen: We'll actually sir we-

Fowler: We'll I'm black! So what!? And I work my ass off to be the captain!

Allen: Actually sir I'm the capta-

Fowler: WAS ANYBODY TALKING TO YOU ALL-IN!?

Richard: -Shuts his ass up before his boss tells him to do so-

Fowler: We'll that's how I am! I get angry! So suck a d**k! That means you Hank!

Hank: -Flips him off-

Fowler: Now can anybody tell me the first rule about going undercover?

Connor: Don't have sex with the deviants?

Fowler: Correct! That's why you're the smartest guy in this department.

Richard: What? That's not fair, he's an android, he already has tons of info-

Fowler: SHUT YOU B**CH ASS UP RICK-HARD! So remember, not matter how plump the rump is, keep it in yo pants. I'm looking at you All-In!

Allen: -Holds head down in shame-

Collins: Sir, I know that he's had his..moments, but I don't think that-

Fowler: I certainly wasn't talkin to you big t**ties!

Poor Collins cries a little while half the room laughs at him. Hank takes a shot of tequila.

Fowler: Now, second rule, what do you do when a deviant spots you?

Collins: Pop, lock and drop it?

Gavin: -The rate of paper tosses at Connor has increased-

Richard: Ride it like a horse? (Say what now? o.o')

Connor: Give it a lick? -Has become numb to the paper-

Hank: Kill Connor if he licks it?

Allen: Burn it alive!

Fowler: All of you are correct, except for Rick-Hard, for being a d*ck.

Gavin: Hahaha! He said d*ck. (-.-)

Connor: What's a d-

Hank: You'll learn when you're older dammit!

Fowler: Ok, now, third rule, why is Gamora?

Hank: -Takes a shot of vodka- (No amount of alcohol can save you from this Hank.)

-2 hours of pointless rules later-

Fowler: Ok, class dismissed. Take what you've learned and practice, I expect a five page report on what you've experienced today by next week.

Hank: -Sighs- This is gonna be a long week.

Gavin: That's what she said.

Hank: Not to you apparently.

Everyone: OOOH!

That shuts Gavin up for the rest of the day, as he runs off crying because of his hurt pride. Everyone goes home to study the 50 rules they've just learned. Meanwhile, Connor heads home to browse the internet on what I-Robot and 'p**say' is. (Hank: Connor no! -Quickly runs home to save his boi-)

(O.o Damn. When did he get in here?)

THE END

Well, that probably sucked worse than the last chapter. But hey, hope you enjoyed it? I'll post more soon. :3