DBH Memefics (And more)

Battle Plans: With Markus (And Jericho)

Ok, I think I'm ready! I'm getting my game-face on. Let's see how this one goes. Hope you enjoy!

Another sunny day philade-DETROIT! The docks were breezy, the water was wavy and the four heads of Jericho were gathered for their weekly 'Destroy All Humans' meeting. Everyone sat around the table. Simon sat next to Josh, who was uncomfortably close to him, and had a smile on his face. Simon didn't seem to mind though. North, meanwhile was twerking to pass the time for some reason.

North: I'M A BOSS ASS B**CH! WOO!

Josh: So, yesterday, I slept 3 hours straight. And then 2 hours gay. (Boo!)

Simon: What the f**k are you talking about?

North: -Twerks on a pigeon-

Simon: That is most definitely animal cruelty.

North: YOU ARE ANIMAL CRUELTY!

Markus: -Bangs fists on table, making it crack a bit- Order! Order ye bastards! 

Josh: Dude, I just got that on sale yesterday.

Markus: Now, good morning everyone and welcome to our 12th weekly KKK meeting. (Wait, you had twelve!?)

North: Why must we always meet in these retarded locations?

Simon: -Stares into space- Why are we in a boat?

Josh: Wait...whats KKK? (You probably don't wanna know. -.-)

Markus: Oh sorry, wrong meeting. -Flips board-

Simon: -Sweat drops- 

Markus: Now, as my father once said; if fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! -Marches back and forth-

North: -Eats a snickers bar- I'm pretty sure we know how to do that already.

Markus: -Looks a North sternly- Well then ms, I'd say my father would know a little more about fighting then you do. Cause he invented it!

Simon: Your father was a painter.

Markus: He was...a war artist! He painted with the blood of his enemies! He died a valiant death in battle! (Poor Karl.)

Simon: -Fiddles with a detached finger, bored- He died from a heart attack.

Markus: HE WAS A FULLY DECORATED SOLIDER OF THE NAVY!

Simon: HE WORKED AT OLD NAVY! DON'T GET THE TWO CONFUSED!

North: Ok, so...any ideas on how we're going to fight the humans?

Josh: Oh! I got an idea. It's called the Strike, Scream, and run technique.

Markus: How does that work?

Josh: -Gets up and slaps North, then screams and runs out the room-

North: Ow! Jerk!

Markus: Ok! Perfect! But we're gonna need a bit more. North? Any ideas?

North: -Draws diagram of a penis on the board- We shall rule the humans by taking their d**ks.

Simon: -Sweat drops-

Markus: -Sweat drops- Wut?

North: Their d**ks! You got a d**k, I got a d**k. Hell, I can whip mine out right now!

Markus: Uh no! No! We'll just trust that it's there. 

Simon: Uh.. how will that help?

North: -Has a crazy look in her eyes- We will strip the humans of their pride! WE WILL REIGN SUPREME!

Markus: -Stares confused- Uh..is she ok?

Simon: Lemme check. -Throws can at North-

North: -Is hit with can and grins like a maniac- YAAA!

 Markus: Ok, who gave North sugar again?

Simon: I only did it for the lulz.

Markus: I thought a snickers bar is supposed revert someone back to their normal self?

Simon: This is her normal self.

North: LEEROOOOY JEEENKKIINNSSS! -Jumps out window-

Markus: Well that happened...so..anything else?

Simon: Hmm.....I think I might have something in mind. But it'll be risky.

Markus: -Leans forward with a determined expression- I'll do it.

Simon: -Holds up snickers bar- (Uh oh...)

-One meeting later-

Markus and Simon went down to the police station,  attacking police and other humans...with watermelons. Both wearing watermelon merchandise and shoving chunks of watermelon into the faces of unsuspecting officers.

Markus: HEY! WASSUP, COME ON! COME CHILL WITH US! LET'S EAT SOME WATERMELONE!

Simon: -Proceeds to stab an officer with a watermelon-

Officer 1: AHH NO! HELP! -Dies- (Its super effective!)

Officer 2: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!

Officer 3: YOU BASTARDS! LET'S F**K EM UP!

Markus and Simon run for their lives as a platoon of soldiers chase after them.

Officer 4: Should we do something about this?

Officer 5: -Is recording the two androids- Nah, we on break.

Suddenly someone comes behind them and grabs their junks. The two cops turn around to stare in the face of death itself. (0.0)

North: -Stabs Officer 5, giggling-

Officer 4: OH MY GOD! WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM LIKE THAT!?

North: You're next. -Grins evilly-

-Meanwhile inside the station-

Connor: -Watches the scene curiously- What are they doing Hank?

Hank: Illegal sh*t. -Sits at his desk, listening to rock music, not caring-

Josh who had somehow made it into the station runs up to Hank and slaps him quickly before running away screaming.

Connor: What was that?

Hank: A dead man.

North: -Runs into station and grabs Hank's junk, grinning like a maniac-

Hank: GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!

THE END

So, how did you like this one? Still crap, I know. I'll start planning scenarios better next time! Don't forget to comment and a favorite! Byee!

Josh: -Bursts down door and hits me and runs-

Me: Ow! Stop hitting people!