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With the fishes

Grayson's POV

I stand there for a moment and watch as Ethan runs off. I decide to walk the long way back along the main road. Not only will it help me dry off but it will give me time to think.

I contemplate everything from my life, my time with Zee in the tunnel, our escape plan, the identity of the mole and what life would be like without Ethan. The thought alone makes me physically sick. I can no longer imagine leaving without him than I can something happening to him. My stomach drops at the idea and I have to stop to take a few deep breathes and calm myself. It's something I honestly have avoided thinking about.

I mean, we're both well aware that these are the risks we take with our lifestyle but I don't think we've ever actually seriously thought we were ever in danger of losing each other. Until now...

We've spent every day of our lives together, except for that one week he spent in snow, and that was hard enough. I had anxiety for the entire week. I felt like part of me was missing- and truthfully it was.

We depend on each other. He likes to pretend he doesn't need me but the panic I saw in his eyes a few minutes ago before we crashed into the water told me the truth. Not that I didn't already know it.

We're close and I don't just mean because we're brothers, its more than that. It's more than the connection we have with Cam. Everything we've ever done, we've done together. If ever there was something I was scared to do I knew I could do it because I had Ethan by my side, and him the same. We're a package deal- team Grethan as grandma called us. We started walking on the same day, talking on the same day, and even had our first kiss on the same day.

I truly don't think there are two people in the world closer than E and I. It's for this reason that I know I have no choice but to convince him to come with me and Zee. It's not even an option. I get the cringe sweats just thinking about it. I decide to push the thought from my head before I do actually vomit.

I continue walking. The water in my shoes sloshing with each step. I decide to take them off and walk barefoot. I don't know what it is about walking barefoot but it always seems to bring an instant calm. If Ethan had his own way he'd never wear shoes.... there I go thinking about him again.

I'm no more than a few hundred yards away, wringing out my socks, when I see the faint glow of yellow head lights coming up behind me. After what just happened, I am instantly on guard and pat my breast pocket for my pistol. It's there but just like everything else it's soaking wet. I'm not even sure it's even any good anymore. At least not for shooting. It's still good for a pistol whip- one of Cam's favourite moves. She says that it reminds the person that while you could have killed them, you didn't, but next time they cross your path you just might.

As the car slows down and pulls along side I wrap my fingers around the silver handle and stand straight.

"Hey, Gray. What's the deal?" comes a deep voice from the driver's seat.

"Jesus, Jason. You scared the shit out of me," I reply letting go of my gun. "Where have you been?"

"Nowhere special. Just had a quick job to take care of." He tucks a strand of his dark hair behind his ear, showing off his heavily tattooed arm. "Hop in! I'll give you a lift."

"Not in that you won't." I point at his car. "It's filthy!"

He lets out a full laugh, "it's the black. It really shows show up the dust."

"It could do with a wash," I tease knowing how much pride Jason has in his car.

"My car could do with a wash? Have you seen yourself?"