Love's Delusion || ✓

Chapter Thirty One

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

I never felt so homey in the last three years than I did at this moment.

Sitting down and watching a movie in the living room with Gage's arm over my shoulder, Ellie and Carter snuggling on the couch and bowls of sweet and salted-- mixed obviously-- popcorn on the table. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. 

Aaron and I never had movie nights.

I felt cozy in Gage's arms, glancing at my older sister and her fiance whispered in her ear causing her to giggle away and swatting him on the arm. The smile on my face began hurting due to how big it getting. 

A part of me felt disappointed as I watched both of them together. I was too busy in my own world with the man I thought was the one for me to watch the woman in front of me fall in love. At the time of Aaron and I moving, Ellie is only casually seeing Carter and I truly didn't believe that they would work. They argued all the time and Ellie would constantly annoy the hell out of him just for shits and giggles. 

It warmed my heart to see her genuinely happy and in love with the man of her dreams, it was just a shame that I wasn't there to see it. 

"What are you thinking about?" I felt Gage's breath on my ear as he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on my earlobe as he waited for a response. The position we were currently in was that Gage was sitting on the seat while I was resting on his lap, my legs curled to the side as his arm was around my shoulder, his hand intertwined in mine as he continuously massages my knuckles with his thumb. 

I looked up to Gage with my chin resting lightly on his shoulder, I didn't want to poke him with my sharp chin.  

"Love," I smiled up at him, gesturing towards the happy couple to the right of us who had disregarded the movie in front of them as were just staring in each other's eyes, holding such love in them I was almost jealous. "They look great together, don't they?" 

Gage shrugged before leaning towards me. "We look better." He winked, blowing a kiss in the air before leaning back on the chair. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head lightly at his childishness. I was refreshing.

As I sat there, hand in hand with Gage as I sat on his lap watching Up-- Ellie thought watching Disney movies would be much more appropriate for the baby that was currently nestling itself in her stomach than watching Spring Breakers-- I pondered; what were Gage and I?

Gage and I had never spoken about a title, despite the fact we were quite open with the fact that we were infatuated with each other. I mean he told my sister he loved me with myself sitting next to him at the time, surely that counts for a title? 

That conversation happened only two days ago, but we were still up in the air about what we were together.

Did I want him to be my boyfriend? Being at the age of twenty-three it almost felt childish saying the word 'boyfriend' but maybe that was because I thought I was in a stable and committed relationship with another, a relationship that I thought would go as far as growing old together. I never thought of having another man in my life, I wasn't prepared one bit to have Gage enter my life.

I felt like I was complementing a war plan in my head when all I was thinking about was if I truly wanted to be exclusive with Gage so soon-- I had only just escaped his brother less than two weeks ago, half of which I was in the hospital for. 

I couldn't deny that being with Gage, I felt safe and protected and that I could be myself-- multiple things I couldn't be when I was with Aaron but I was blinded by so-called love and need that I never saw it like that.