The Princess's Handbook

Rule #22: Hold Your Head High

Rule #22: Hold Your Head High

Dante's kiss was firm. His lips felt warm and soft on mine. My eyelids fluttered close on their own accord. The kiss felt like it lasted for eternity when in reality it was only for a few seconds. Yet in those mere seconds everything around me had disappeared. Only he was the one there with me. He was the only one that existed in that moment. The anchor holding me to ground.

Dante was abruptly pulled back from me. My eyes opened and I saw the royal guards had held him back. My mother was visibly seething. My father had an unreadable emotion sparkling in his eyes while Henry's face looked even more grim if that was possible.

"Guards, get him out of my sight, NOW." My mother ordered. The guards proceeded to drag Dante away. I took a step forward and was about to speak when Dante forcefully shook their hands off him.

"I can walk perfectly fine." He asserted. The guards exchanged looks and was about to touch him again when I spoke. "You heard him. He's not disable." They shifted uncomfortably. It was obvious, no one wanted to get involved in my fight with my mother, especially the ones that work for us. It would put them in an immensely awkward position. One is their queen, the other their princess. They wouldn't want to anger either parties.

Before the guards could decide what to do, Dante walked himself to the door. He glanced back at me just before he exited the room.

"I promise." Two words. They didn't even made sense considering he did not clarify what he was promising but that was enough for me. He was promising that we would meet again. That this was not how our story would end. A promise that held no meaning but at the same time a thousand different messages.

Then he left. It felt like a piece of my heart left with him as I felt my chest tightened painfully. A fresh round of tears welled up in my eyes. In that moment, I knew. I knew that I liked Dante Williams too dang much. I liked him so much, the idea that we could possibly never meet again made it almost impossible for me to breathe.

I fixed my tearful gaze on my mother. "I hope you are happy because you've just robbed away my one chance at ever feeling true happiness." She pursed her lips. I glanced at my father, disappointment filled my eyes. I then turned my gaze to Henry. He was looking at me sympathetically. I felt hollow on the inside. The tears finally overflowed. For the first time since I was a toddler, I cried in front of my parents.

I cried for my mother's foolishness. I cried for my father's inability to make things right. Most importantly, I cried for the loss of my best friend and the boy that made me feel things that no one else ever had.

No one stopped me and for once I completely let go of myself and broke down.

+++

"Your royal highness?"

"Princess?"

"Julianna?"

"Jules!" I blinked and was brought back to reality. I saw a worried Catherine looking at me.

"Is something the matter?" I asked dazedly.

"You were completely out of it. It was like your body is here but your mind is somewhere else." She replied. I didn't say anything in return. Ever since my fight with my mother, I had been like this. I still acted like the perfect princess but I had lost my rebellious streak. I still held my head high as if nothing could affect me but I was only a shell of the person I was.

It had been a month. A full month since I last saw and spoke to Dante. My phone, laptop and everything that could be used for communication was confiscated so I couldn't even send him any message. All letters that were sent under my name were also checked for their content before delivery. My relationship with my mother was so strained, it was bordering on us being complete strangers. I ate my meals in my room and ignored her whenever I see her. I didn't even spoke much to my father.

"Julianna, are you all right?" Catherine asked, concern was evident in her eyes.

"I'm fine." I answered. I wasn't lying. Physically, I was perfectly well. Catherine scrutinised me. Finally she shut the book she was holding and announced

"I think we're done for the day."

I was puzzled. "But it has only been an hour?" She shook her head. "You are in no state to learn. Go for a walk or something. You need to clear your mind." I fell silent. How do I clear my mind when it's filled to the brim with the one person I don't ever want to clear out of my life?

"Julianna, you know I'm here for you right?" Catherine said gently. I nodded and forced a smile. I knew she meant well but I didn't want to talk about anything. It would only remind me more of the day Dante had been forced out of my life. He had made me a promise but I knew that without my parents consent I can never see him again.

After Catherine cleared things up and left the room, I decided to visit the library. I pushed opened the large doors and walked in. Rays of light shone through the windows. I brushed my fingers across the cover of the books on a shelf as my eyes scanned their titles. My touch stopped when it came in contact with a single book.

Romeo and Juliet

I plucked it from the shelf and flipped through the book. I chuckled humourlessly. My relationship with Dante felt so much like Romeo and Juliet's except that no one had died yet. My heart ached as Dante's face flashed through my mind. I sighed and leaned back onto the shelf.

As I was consumed in my thoughts, I dropped the book I was holding. I crouched down to pick it up but stopped when among the page full of words, a single line that was written on the page stood out to me.

'Then I defy you, stars!'

That single line struck a chord within me. When Romeo had said that line, he was filled with anguish and believed he can defy the fate that was bestowed upon him, to live with the death of his one true love. Defy he did, as he took his own life and joined his love in a world that wasn't finite and bound to the prejudice of people.

Perhaps it was the meaning behind that sentence but it sparked something inside me. A fire that had been almost completely extinguished. As I stared at the opened page in front of me I smiled. A genuine smile broke out on my face.

I will not succumb to this fate that has been bestowed upon me. Dante made me a promise and he is fighting for that promise, so will I. I will fight to see the day that promise comes true. There will be no deaths and tragedies in this story. I will have my happy ending no matter what.

I clenched my fists and made a silent vow. The stars will not hold me back. This is my fate and I will not let it fall into anyone's hand. Not on my watch.